Today is a sad day for me.....Brenn is really losing her hair now, I walked in to the bedroom just before Brenn was going to bed and on the bed there is a a pile of hair. Scott says that Brenn started pulling her hair out in clumps and that she told him it felt good to do it. I looked at Brenn as she was laying in bed and I asked her if she was okay and she said "yes". The bravery of my five year old daughter is astonishing to me, a brief time ago she was in denial that she would not lose her hair and now it seems as if she can't get it off fast enough. I'm thinking that her beautiful long curly hair is not all that comfortable for her now.........

So to start from the beginning....... our day started with going to school, which Brenn of course did not want to go as she says "it's boring, we just sit around" oh and her "stomach hurt". So in we go to school an hour late, she sits down and after a few minutes gets into her school work, Scott and I puttered around the hospital and went back to get her 45 mins later in hopes to bust her out to meet up with a little friend who was diagnosed a year ago. Well life doesn't always go as you planned. We get there and Brenn does not look well, she was pale with red cheeks and clammy to the touch, so off to clinic we go to get her temp taken......5 hours and a whole battery of tests later we find out that Brenn's counts are really good and that more than likely she had a hot flash! This could have been from a few different things a side effect from her steroid, a stomach cramp from her digestive (poop) med, or a combination of number of side effects from the chemotherapy that have come to light over the last few days. Either way we were sent home with a urine cup to fill at Brenn's convenience and reassured that Brenn is okay but encouraged to bring her back if we are unsure of anything......we are truly blessed to be at the children's hospital with such a great team of doctors, nurses and other professionals.

Saying that we are just blessed in general.......a great family doctor who cares enough about his patients to get to know them and knows when something is really not right and to pursue it further, we have great family, friends and a community who go far beyond anything that Scott and I could have ever conceived and last but far from least we are blessed that Brenn body is fighting so hard against this illness and that despite the side effects of the meds she is still producing her own healthy cells at such a rapid and astonishing rate. Go Brenn!!!!

It was a nice and busy day today. Some of the Jewish Women came in this morning and brought us all muffins, and bagels, cream cheese and lox, along with loads of coffee. It was really great. Brenn was much better with this scenario, as there was not many people in the kitchen. She was really not feeling all that well this morning though. She was pale, and more lethargic than normal, but once she got her third breakfast into her, she started to feel a lot better.

Once Brenn started to feel better, we were off to North Vancouver to return the shaver that I bought yesterday, and look for some gel caps for her medications. We were successful in returning the shaver, but unsuccessful in finding her gel caps. Luckily though, there are many parents here, and they all have empty gel caps, so we borrowed a few more, and found out were to get more tomorrow. That particular pharmacy is closed today. We came back to the house, and started to make the perogies that Brenn wanted to make for the whole house for dinner, and made lunch for Brenn. I had to go and pick up Christines friend Ingrid from Yaletown. She is a professional story teller from Prince George, so she came in today and told all the kids many stories this afternoon. The kids loved it, and really got into it. It was really great!

Like I said. Today, Christine made perogies for everyone in the house. A couple of the other moms made things like salads, and desserts, and we all sat down to a really nice dinner all together. It was a really nice day at the house today. Everyone was together pretty well all day, and we were able to really get to know some of the people that we have been and will be living with for the next little while. There is a new family that just arrived today. They are from Seshelt, and they have a little boy about 6-7 who was diagnosed with ALL about a week after Brenn. It was really nice to hear that they have the same fears, and perceptions that we do. Throughout the day, it was also nice to hear about how everyone else has been dealing with their journey. Hopefully, we will be able to all get together and do something similar more often.

Scott

We had a great boring day today. Boring is good at this point though, it means that there were no surprises throughout the day. Brenn was up 4 times last night for food, so we are all a little tired today, but we were able to sleep in until 8:15 this morning, which was a very special treat. I was awake and reading for about a half hour before anyone else woke up, which was a great way to start the day.

A group from Telus came in to make us a wonderful brunch this morning. There were 10 Telus employees and family members in the kitchen this morning, which Brenn really didn't like. The kitchen has been her refuge and resting place over the past couple weeks, and it was tough for her to take the invasion, and she had a pretty decent melt down. We feel really bad for her, because we know that her medication is really messing with her system, and it is really hard to modulate her behavior. We can't really get upset with her, because it really isn't her fault that she is acting this way. Once the food was done though, Brenn loved it! She was really excited to have so many choices, she was almost beside herself with pure delight. She ate bacon, 2 helpings of scrambled eggs, an waffle with strawberries, whip cream and syrup, and a huge pile of fruit. She was in her element!

Right after breakfast, we decided to take a drive out to Deep Cove. It was another drizzly day, and Brenn was tired, so we were hoping that she would have a nap for 20 minutes or more. the nap only lasted about 5 minutes, but it was a beautiful drive. The water was smooth like glass, and there were lots of people out in kyacks. We were thinking that it might be fun to rent a couple kyacks and go for a little paddle, but we thought that we should wait for a warmer day, and wait for Samantha so that she can come as well. The girls really like to be on the water, and see all the birds, and hopefully sea life.

I went for a really great run later in the afternoon while Christine and Brenn went off to a really small yarn store. When they were at the store, Brenn met the man who drew some of the Disney princesses. He is now working on his own project developing a kids cartoon. He autographed and dated a picture of one of his new characters for Brenn. It was pretty exciting for her. She seemed to be in better spirits after such a chance meeting, and ate a good dinner. We have been having some trouble getting all of her medications into her twice everyday, so we are trying different things. Tonight, we borrowed some gel caps from one of the other moms here in the house. I crushed up all of her pills and filled the gel caps, and Brenn really liked taking the gel caps over all of the pills...Eureka! We are going to go find a pill crusher tomorrow, and some gel caps, and don't worry, we are allowed to do such things to her medications.

Today was a good day. Tomorrow will be another thanks to everyones prayers and thoughts. Thank you all! You all have made such a big difference for us, just knowing that you are there.

Scott

We woke a little late this morning which was great for us, but bad for Brenn. She was really hungry. Once we got her fed, it was already time to go to the hospital for school. Christine and I dropped off Brenn, and went down to MEC for some time together. It was quite nice to have a little time to spend just Christine and I. It was a cold windy and drizzly kind of day today, so we went for a really short walk trying to find a tea ball. Once we found everything we were looking for, it was time to go back to the hospital and pick up Brenn. Brenn was low in energy today, and wasn't really eating anything. We thought that it was a little strange, but she wasn't complaining so Brenn and I sat down to watch Bambi together.

Christine made Brenn some scrambled eggs and some juice during the movie, and it was when she was drinking the juice that she started complaining about a sore thought. We noticed a couple days ago, before going to clinic that Brenn was developing some sores in and around her mouth. We had a doctor look at them when we were at clinic on Tuesday, but we all agreed that the sores were probably a result of her eating so many chips and salty things. Today, I got her to open her mouth and stick out her tongue so that I could see into the back of her throught, and I saw a couple more sores back there. Some of her medication can cause sores that go from her mouth all the way through her digestive tract to her rectum, so we were immediately concerned. We called the clinic right away, and they asked us to come in as soon as possible, so off we went back to the hospital. When we arrived, Brenn was taken into a room right away for vitals, and then we were seen by two of her doctors. They both agreed the she had developed thrush, which is a bacterial infection like a yeast infection. With her low immunity, this is a quite common problem. Also, she is non-contagious, which is a blessing, otherwise we would have had to find another place to stay until such time and she was better. So once we found out what the problem was, it was back to the pharmacy for another large bag of meds. It is amazing the array of medications that Brenn is on now. We bought a back pack today while we were at MEC, and now that she got her new medications, we realize that we should have bought a bigger bag to lug all of that stuff around with.

Oh well, for our first real scare since Brenn was diagnosed and we found out all of the problems associated with not only ALL, but with the medications that are supposed to make her better, it turned out to be okay. The thrush should be feeling better within a couple days, and until then, we have some other medications to make it feel better right now. It really seems like they have medication to fix anything. After all the excitement of the day today, Brenn was really exhausted, and came home, had a bit of dinner, a shower, and went to bed. After I read her 4 books, she hasn't made a sound. So on that note, I am going to go join her in getting some shut eye.

Scott

It was an up and down kind of day today. All of the sleep deprivation that we have been encountering over the last while is catching up to all of us. We got up early this morning in order to drop Samantha off with my Mom so that they could go to Campbell River for the weekend and visit Great Grandma Sugar, Uncle Garry, and Auntie Maxine. She will be sorely missed all weekend, but I am sure that she will have a great time keeping everyone busy and running out there. She does have a lot of energy, I hope she doesn't wear everyone out.

Brenn had a restless sleep last night, and with her having her IV chemo Tuesday, she was pretty low all day. However, she went to the school at the hospital for the first time today. she was a little scared, but once we got there and noticed that she would have the same teacher that came to her room a couple times during her stay at the hospital, she settled right in. She got a little over 2 hours of one-on-one teaching today, and is supposed to go back again tomorrow for another 2 hour session. Brenns teacher, Mrs. Bluemink, sent down all of the stuff that Brenns class is working on, so Brenn will be able to keep up with the rest of her class. The one-on-one teaching should really help her. She really seemed to excel today. Christine and I went for a quick walk and a coffee when Brenn started school, and then went back to kind of eavesdrop on them. Brenn is really coming along with her reading and math skills. It really is amazing to watch your child learn how to do such complex things as read and math. I don't think that a parent could avoid being proud of their child as they discover these kinds of things.

After school, Brenn wanted a sub from Subway with only bread and turkey. After we got her sandwich, we went down to Kits beach and threw her bread for the seagulls, while she ate her meat. Next time, we will see if they have any old bread that we can take, and just get her some meat and vegetables. I think she would get a little more out of it. Once lunch was done we drove over to Granville island to see the new billboard here that is covered with 24 carrot gold leaf. The sign was quite amazing, especially the security guard that was standing underneath it. It's not every day you get to see a sign that big that is made entirely of gold. It was pretty cool. We came back to Ronald McDonald house after that and really had a power outage kind of afternoon. Brenn would not sleep, and so tonight was quite grumpy. I do believe that she will have one of the best sleeps of her life tonight, well, I hope so anyway.

Scott

Today was a very enjoyable day. Samantha and I went to the airport this morning to pick up Ian (my boss) who came down to visit us for the day. Brenn was really pleased to see him. We played Disney Pixar Monopoly for an hour or so until Brenn got bored and we got sick of chasing Samantha around the house to retrieve the money she stole from the game. She really knows what to grab. My mom came in from her brothers house to watch the girls and Ian took Christine and I out for a really nice lunch. It was the first time since we came down to Vancouver that Christine and I were able to get away together for just a little while. It was really really great. After lunch, it was time to get back to the house to drop off Christine, pick up Samantha and head back to the airport to drop Ian off so that he could go back home. Thanks very much for coming. It was incredibly nice to have a familiar face around even for just a little while.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. Brenn had a pretty even day today. She had been starting to loose her hair over the last couple days, and it seems to me to be a bit thinner than it was just yesterday morning. I have been running my hands through her hair for weeks dreading the day that my hand comes out with more than a hair or two. Today I looked at the back of her shirt and there was somewhere around 25-30 hairs loose on her back. I feel really bad for her, she has taken everything so well so far, and I am not sure how she is going to take loosing her hair. We have talked about it many times, and we have been showing her the hair that is coming off of her over the last few days, but i just don't know how this is going to go over once she sees that her hair is getting thinner. She has to go through so much treatment, and needles, and procedures, and doctors and nurses, and living away from home, and now she is going to loose her hair to. She is a trooper! We love her spirit, even when she is raging from her medicine.

I know that there are many people in BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Denver that are preying for Brenn through this. i really want to say a heartfelt thank you. We have felt so very blessed, and I guess that sometimes, it takes going through something like this to really know how much the people around you care. We love each and everyone of you, and are just really blown away at how giving you all are. Thank you.

Scott

Brenn was not such an angry little girls today! We started off the day scrambling because we all slept in by 45 minutes. We got Brenns numbing cream on her right away, and quickly got dressed and shot out the door, grabbing a huge bag of snacks on the way. We ended up getting to Brenns appointment 3 minutes early, and breezing through the nurses and doctors in order to get her bone marrow aspiration, and core sample done right away. As soon as Brenn was able to talk coherently after her procedure, she wanted chips. I started her off with some juice, while Christine tried to coax her into eating some fruit first. We failed, and Brenn ate her chips. She sampled from three different bags, but really didn't eat any. While we were talking to the doctors, nurses, and nutritionists (hahaha trying to get kids on steroids to eat proper amounts of food, and consume less salt, you really can tell that they have never had a kid at home on steroids before) Brenn clutched a can of soup that she wanted us to make as soon as we got back to Ronald McDonald House. When we were leaving the hospital, she asked me to drive kind of slow, but get to Ronald McDonald house as quickly as possible so that we could make her soup.

When we came home, we received a call from one of our friends, Erin, who is selflessly helping us out by setting up a few fund raisers for us. Thank you very much, your generosity with your time and efforts really makes us feel blessed and loved. Brenn received a really nice Snow White costume/pajamas from my Dad and Marion as well today. She really likes it, but is not up to playing with it quite yet.

I picked up Samantha this afternoon, and we had a really nice lunch with my Mom before driving back out to the Ronald McDonald house to do chores and enjoy a nice dinner prepared by some ladies from Vancouver who came in to make the whole house dinner tonight. Overall, today was a much better day, we all really felt better, but are still having some difficulty coming to terms with this new life we are currently living. We really love all the support, and prayers that we are receiving from everyone in our lives, and we really look forward to seeing you all when we get home.

Scott

Well it's official. She has temporarily stopped being our little angel and become one of the devils own stooges! She is now taken up full time eating, we think that she may secretly be training for the next kraft dinner, and soup eating contest. Her little stomach is so full that it hurts her, but every time we take away her food she flips out starts crying and demands more food saying that she is still hungry. We have been trying to limit her food intake over the last couple, and we thought we were doing a pretty good job, however, tonight at dinner, we found out that we were not doing so well. I took her out to my uncles house today right after we finished another huge lunch, and while I was in the shower, she proceeded to eat two full bowls of soup, and somewhere around 10 strawberries. Then when we got home, we realized that her stomach was sore, but all she wanted was to eat. We feel really bad for her, because no matter how much she eats, she never feels full. Her brain is telling her to eat eat eat because of her medicine, and she doesn't understand that she has to stop sometime. She becomes inconsolable when she doesn't have food, and she is so sick right now, all we want to do is cuddle her and make her feel better, but we can't because we are trying to stop her from eating so much, and then she starts yelling at us saying that we are making her really mad (this of course is another side effect of giving your child steroids...just don't).

It was a pretty tough day that started out fantastically well. Brenn, Samantha and I got up at 7 this morning, and had a nice breakfast that lasted until 10 on and off for Brenn, then we all pilled into the car and drove down to Stanley Park. I ran the sea wall, which was beautiful, while the girls took the horse drawn carriage ride through the park. The horse ride was an hour, which turned out to be way to long for poor Brenn. I was waiting for them at the end of the ride, and she was really tired out. Samantha seemed to have had a pretty good time, and Christine probably could have done without two little kids in a really slow carriage ride for an hour, but we thought it would be fun for the girls at the beginning. Live and learn I guess. We left Stanley Park as soon as they got back because the girls were hungry and needed to get some food. We came back to the house, had lunch, and while Christine moved all of our stuff up into a new (larger) room at Ronald McDonald house, I took Samantha and Brenn out to Pitt Meadows to drop off Samantha. Brenn has a hospital day tomorrow that starts at 8:30, so we thought it best that Samantha stay with Grandma for the night.

Samantha was really excited to have a chance to play outside and play with the dogs, so hopefully it will be a nice break for her. She has been such a good girls over the last couple weeks, I can't begin to think what she feels about this situation. She had been talking about going home, and I pray that she will be stimulated enough over the coming weeks, that it will not become a battle.

Please pray that Brenn feels better tomorrow. She is feeling really lethargic again, and compounded on that is her eating problem. She has a big day of tests tomorrow, and we are just praying that she is comfortable. That is all we want right now, is for her to just have a good, and happy day. Her medicine really has made her feel crappy lately. Also pray for Samantha, that she can voice her feelings to us, and that we can take the time to give her what she so rightly deserves. All of the changes in our life is starting to sink in, and it doesn't feel good. It really feels like Christine and I have really not lived together since I started working in Williams Lake, and now we have only a couple weeks left together before I really need to get back to Prince George, and start to work again. I really don't want to have to go back, but it would not be possible for me to stay down here for the next 7 months. I know that God is with us right now more than ever, please continue to pray for us. We appreciate, and really need it now.

Thank you

Scott

Sunday, May 23, 2010, Day 13

After a morning of food, TV, food, play and more food the family ventured out to Steveston for some exercise and fresh air. This being our first real outing to somewhere public, outdoors and safe from germs.....hummm probally not the best place to go on the Sunday of Maylong weekend, there were people everywhere. Scott and I tried not to panick as Brenn got out of the car she calmily looked around and said "I should wear my mask", and after doning the mickey mouse clubhouse mask off we all went. She avoided people as much as she could, she didn't touch anything, didn't ask or even really want to go in to any stores and only took her mask off to eat some of the most fantastic halibit and chips that I have ever tasted. Brenn tired after about an hour of looking at the fishing boats, browsing the fresh catch of the day and eating on the dock, she asked to go to get our food for dinner (yes you guessed it...fresh seafood) and then to go home. I went quickily off with Sam to grab some kettle corn leaving Scott and Brenn to grab the seafood from the fish store......big mistake.

During the car ride home Scott says "if I get the crab ready could you cook it and prepare the rest of dinner while I go for a run"......I get this uneasy feeling....hmmm ......I've never cooked fresh crab before I don't think I'm down with this.....and then as we're walking into the the kitchen he tells me that not only is the crab still alive but so are the prawns and the clams......yuck......no way am I killing ALL that seafood......so we cooked dinner together, preparing , killing and cooking. Brenn loved it, she watched the whole time while eating a predinner snack of veggies and dip. Her sister nowhere to be found, no doubtly enjoying the precious quiet time away from others as the other little people home in the house also enjoyed the seafood exgtravaganza , I am however not sure how the other parents feel about the newly aquired ocean smell in the house though....lol. After full belly's the Smith kidlets got ready for bed, had their stories and settled quite nicely in to bed a full half hour ahead of schedule. Maybe Stevston didn't turn out to be such a bad idea after all.

May 22, 2010,

Today was another day very similar to yesterday. Brenn was REALLY tired all day today, but she feels as if she is a big girl and, big girls don't need silly naps, they are for babies. So by the time we finally pried her away from the table long enough to get her meds into her, and read her a story, she passed out of pure exhaustion.

We had a pretty good day this today though. This morning, Brenn Samantha and I got up about 6:45, and went down for breakfast. At that hour, we had the run of the house. We made pancakes, and Brenn also wanted a bagel with cream cheese, and a bunch of other food that I won't bore you with, then we did our daily house chore, and cleaned up our mess in the kitchen, made coffee and went to watch some cartoons before anyone else got out of bed. It was great. We let Christine sleep in this morning, so at least one of us could get some much needed sleep. Hopefully i will get to sleep in tomorrow morning, and we will all be feeling better.

We all left the house around 11 this morning, and drove out to Pitt Meadows to visit my Mom, and we were hoping to spend some time outside, however, it was a little cold out, and Brenn was so tired that all she had the energy for was to eat. She really was lethargic again today, almost like she was when we found out about the leukemia, but tomorrow is another day. Hopefully after a good sleep, and some more time for her little body to recover from the last injection of her chemo drugs, she will be a little better.

The prayer request for thee day today would most definitely be that Brenn and Samantha can figure out a way to get along with one another through this. Samantha is doing really well though, she keeps trying to play with Brenn, but it just does not work out. They get into some fights, but hopefully with any luck they will work it out sooner rather than later. Christine and I feel really bad for both girls, and struggle to find a happy medium in this area. We reprimand Samantha for bugging Brenn, but it is in Sams nature to try to play and then bug Brenn to get to do at least acknowledge her. This is where the trouble begins, and the fight starts. They are both just trying to do what they fell. Samantha is trying to get Brenn to play like they always have, and Brenn is just trying to rest, eat, and rest some more.

It was really nice to go out to Pitt Meadows today for a change of scenery, and some privacy. Brenn and Sam thrived there for the few hours that we were there. My Mom got a new cell phone yesterday as well, so we all got to play with it for a little while. It is a really nice phone. We ordered pizza for dinner upon request from Brenn, and just relaxed, watched some Treehouse, and the girls got to play with all of their new toys, as some of them were not allowed to come to the Ronald McDonald house. There is everything that the girls need here, and they frown upon brining in lots of other toys to get mixed up into all the other toys that are clean, and sterile. The girls really enjoyed the new toys. They played with puzzles, books, playdough, toys, and teddy bears, and for the first time in a major play like that, they cleaned up after themselves. This place must really be rubbing off on them in at least one positive way. Christine and I are going to spend a little time together now, and it's off to bed for another exciting day tomorrow.

Thank you all very much again for all the gifts that you sent. It really was a joy to watch the kids playing with all of the new toys, and getting some excitement in. They have had a pretty hard time the last couple weeks, and some time to just play was amazing.

Scott

Welcome to the May long weekend! I am not sure that it will make any difference to us in our current situation. Everyday is pretty much the same as the last with more and more changes in our daughters every day to keep things kind of interesting. It was a hard day today. for some reason, all of us were really tired and on edge. Brenn woke up at 3 am this morning for a couple pieces of Ham with mustard...warmed up and cut up really small of course. While she will eat almost anything, she is still holding on to her pickiness by asking for things to be cut differently, or having some kind of sauce or something...it is quite funny. Already her cheeks are starting to puff out a little with the steroid that she is on, they say that she will return to normal after she stops taking the steroid at the end of the first 28 days. She is still only 17 KG, so any extra weight that she can retain might be a really good thing for her in the long run.


We had a bit of fun today. We all went down to Stanley Park and walked around for a little while. Brenn got cold really quickly, even though it was quite pleasant outside, so she and Christine went and sat in the car while Samantha and I continued on our walk for a little bit. We checked out the totem poles, and the gift shop, and ran on the lawn for a while. It was quite fun. We went on a little tour of downtown before stopping in at a Tim Horten's to get some everything bagels that Brenn loves so much. Because Brenns counts are a little low, she had to wear a mask that has the Mickey Mouse characters on it. She wasn't even self conscious of it. I think that she just really wanted those bagels. We came back to the house, and Brenn devoured a bagel, and some soup before lunch, then had a full lunch before heading upstairs for a rest. She was really tired, but sleep eluded her this time. While Christine and Brenn were in the room, Samantha and I went outside and played really hard for a couple hours. Brenn got out of bed and needed to eat the entire kitchen again, so she sat down at her table and proceeded with eating. She pretty well sat there until dinner time, when she ate all of her dinner, then a bunch of cut up vegetables, then a bowel of canned peaches, and then when we all finally thought she was done eating...she asked for a yogurt, and started planning her inevitable midnight snack. This may not sound like a lot of food, but for a 17 KG 5 year old kid with the appetite of a really small bird, it is nothing short of miraculous! That is why I keep going on and on about it I guess. I just can't get over it.


Brenns story was on the second page of the Prince George Citizen today, here is the story for those of you who do not get the newspaper, or don't live in fabulous Prince George:

A second little five-year-old girl in Prince George has been hit hard with cancer. Brenn Smith is fighting acute lymphoblastic leukemia at B.C. Children’s Hospital where she’s undergoing the first of four phases of chemotherapy that will take up more than two years of her life. Her father, Scott, said “life just stopped” May 7 when local doctors told him and wife, Christine, the white blood cells were unusual and they “suspected leukemia.”Four hours later Christine and Brenn were on the air ambulance to Vancouver where the suspected diagnosis became a reality May 10. The next day he wrote on his Internet blog, “This is my first day of waking up knowing for sure that Brenn is a very sick little girl.”Scott said the best news they’ve had about the experience is that the condition can be eliminated and it “has a low rate of reoccurance."
When Brenn first complained of pains in her bone areas, it was thought they might be growing pains, but before long the child was tiring easily, sleeping poorly, having fevers and a sore back.“We thought she might have meningitis, but the blood tests and an X-ray May 6 showed different,” Scott said. He, Christine and two-year-old Samantha are staying at the Ronald McDonald House Vancouver. The hope is that Brenn will be able to resume kindergarten at Cedars Christian school in November. A trust fund to assist the family with expenses has been established by Cedars Christian at the Bank of Montreal at 15th Avenue and Central Street West. The account number is 0802-8250-083 for anyone who would like to help out. Brenn is following in the footsteps of Hannah Parker, the fiveyear-old who is fighting a fist-size malignant Wilms tumor on her kidney which had already reached the stage four cancer level and had spread to her lungs and liver by the time she was admitted to BC Children’s Hospital about nine weeks ago. Hannah is undergoing a series of chemotherapy following which she will be re-scanned to see if the tumor has shrunk enough to remove it safely along with her left kidney.

We will now be keeping Hannah Parker in our prayers as well. We pray the she will be okay.
It is a really wierd feeling to have Brenns story in the newspaper. We are all not quite sure what to make of it. It is strange that Brenn is in a place right now that she would be newsworthy.
Anyway, we are all really hoping for a better sleep tonight. We are all tired, and pretty sick of being cooped up all the time, but it is our reality right now as Brenn does not have the energy she needs for extended time away from the Ronald McDonald house. This is our number one prayer request right now, is that we can all find the time and the peace in order to get a really good and refreshing nights sleep. Even one would be a miracle right now.
Scott

May, 20, 2010

Today was our first day out of the hospital in quite a long time. We all had a fitful sleep last night, all trying to adjust to sleeping one parent one kid per single bed. It was tight!!! Christine, and Brenn were up 3 times last night for food and bathroom breaks. Brenn needed to eat at around 3 am last night, and she kept up the habit today. For breakfast she had one piece of sushi, two bowls of cereal, and yogurt. She had a another yogurt, and a bowl of soup before we drove out to White Rock to see Grandma Smith. She had a nap in the car on the way out to Grandmas, and was asking if it was lunch time when she woke up from her first nap at 10:45...we made her more soup for her while we prepared lunch, which was roast chicken, salad, bread, and strawberries for dessert, and grapes, and more chicken...

We left Grandmas house, around 12:45 because Brenn was starting to get tired and really cranky with her sister. We drove down by the beach in White Rock and looked at all the really nice houses, and the really nice beaches, and within 15 minutes, both girls were sleeping in the back seat. Brenn woke up just as we were getting into Vancouver, and asked when we were going to be back at the Ronald McDonald house. We asked her if she was hungry, and of course she said yes. This was only an hour after lunch! We got back to the house, and she attacked the kitchen, she ate more sushi, a couple pickles, more soup, and 2 more yogurts. At this point I was really tired, so I went off to have a shower, and Christine, and the girls went off to do some crafts. When I got out of the shower, Brenn was asking for dinner, so it was back to the kitchen to make scalloped potatoes, ham and some vegetables. Brenn was the last one up from the table after dinner. It was absolutely amazing how much food she put back today. She was planning what she was going to have for her midnight snack tonight already as well. She wants more ham heated up, and more scalloped potatoes, and maybe more yogurt!

Beyond the eating today, Brenn was tired, and cranky. She is also really scared right now. All she wanted was to be around mom and dad today, if we were out of sight, she would start to cry, and get really upset. She is sensitive kid, but you can tell that she is really on edge. Please pray that we will find a way to alleviate her fears, and get her to talk about how she is feeling. She is talking about how she is sick, and that her treatment is going to be long, and that she is going to loose her hair, but to talk about her feelings, and thoughts is really hard. She is only 5 after all, and has trouble voicing her fears, and concerns.

We talked to one of our doctors todays as well, and got the results of her bone marrow aspiration. When we started, Brenn had 96% of all cells in her bone marrow were cancerous cells. After only one week, Brenn is down to only 4%! Her treatment really works. WOW. The test of her bone material was quite different. She has 10% of cells that are cancerous there, and we have nothing to compare that with from last week, so we will be doing another test on her bone marrow and bone material next Tuesday. It really is miraculous how her treatment has wiped out so many cells in such a short amount of time. This month will clean all but 1% of her cancer left. Most of these left over cells will be the ones that are in hiding and not dividing right now. I am really in shock at how Brenns little body has gone under such a transformation in only a little over a week! We really thank God for looking out for Brenn, and helping her body heal and recover so well!

All of Brenns results today made us feel really good, but also worried. I worry about her bone result, and only hope and pray that next that number will fall below the magic 5% mark, which will officially put her into remission! Thank you for all of your prayers and comments. We really treasure your comments, it is nice to read what you all are thinking. I try to read your comments to Brenn everyday, however, understandably, some days she is simply not interested in anything.

Scott

Today was the craziest day yet!!!!! We were discharged from the hospital this morning into the care of all the people at the Ronald McDonald House. This morning before we went to the hospital, Samantha, my Mom and I went and dropped off the car at a detail shop. We really needed to get the car really clean and free of any mold that may have been floating around in there. Once we dropped the car off, it was straight to the hospital to take the first load of stuff out of the room. We filled my Moms Rav4, and took it straight to the Ronald McDonald house, then it was straight back to the hospital, to pick up the rest of the stuff and of course the most important Brenn, and Christine.

Brenn was initially really excited about getting out of the hospital, but her fear of the unknown reared it's ugly head, and along with her reaction to her medication, she really lost control, and cried in her hospital room for about 20 minutes, while we tried to put some slippers on her feet. Once we finally succeeded in getting the slippers on, she cried all the way down the hall past the nursing station, into the elevator, and out into the lobby. People were staring! She settled down in time to get into Grandmas car, and she was quite quiet for the ride to Ronald McDonald House. We all feel for her, but it is tough to take when we are all stressed out as well. She has been so brave, but every change will send her over the edge, because since we have been down here, most changes have been quite difficult, or even painful. She has been more brave than I can imagine, and we are really proud of her.

Once we got into the Ronald McDonald house, it was time for lunch. Brenn has really been craving Mr. Noodle for the last few days. With her medicine that she takes, the kids really crave salty things. They say that most kids really like hot dogs (which for the most part, Brenn really dislikes.) She tried a hot dog today, and ate half of it, which for Brenn is quite amazing. After lunch, it was time to wash both car seats, and organize all of the things that came back from the hospital. At the Ronald McDonald house there is precious little room. We organized for a couple hours, then Christine went shopping, and to pick up all of Brenns prescription, I had a pretty bad nose bleed, that required another 45 minutes to clean up afterwards (things have to be cleaned really really really well around here,) then my Mom and I were off to pick up our nicely cleaned car.

Through all of the activity, Brenn did quite well. She was able to play with Samantha for a while, she ate a few times, and rested watching TV. I was impressed with how much energy she had today. I am sure she will sleep well tonight, and be a bit tired tomorrow. She just got her chemotherapy yesterday, so she will be knocked back down again over the next couple days. It seems like such a crewel treatment. Just as she is starting to resemble her old self again, we give her some really strong medicine in order to make her messed up again. This disease is quite difficult to understand. On her good days she is almost like she was 6 or 7 months ago, when there was nothing wrong, but she does have her really bad days just to remind you that she is a very sick little girl. We have just started, and I can see that this will be a really hard road with many highs, and hopefully not so many lows. Brenn is such a special little girl! She has so much support, it seems incredible that in her short little life, she has managed to touch so many people. She has always been such a blessing.

I would really like to take a second to really thank my Mom. She has been watching Samantha for us while Brenn was in the hospital, doing all the laundry, doing most of the running around for us, and just being there to help in any way that she could. Without her being here through this, I am not really sure what we would have done. Things would have had to be a lot different. She is now taking a break, she went out to her brothers house for a little R&R. Hopefully she will be back up to full steam in no time. Taking care of Samantha for 10 days or so is quite a challange. That kid is spirited to say the least. Thanks Mom!

Scott

May, 18, 2010

Today was a really good day. Brenn and I stayed together in the hospital last night, and we had to fast starting from midnight. Brenn and I stayed up until about 10:15 last night, trying to get as much food into her as possible and watching movies. We had a pretty good time.

Brenn slept really well last night as well. We had blood work done at 4:25 this morning, and she didn't even wake up for it. I was impressed. They made her role over in her sleep so that they could access her VAD. Once they got the blood that they needed, they cleaned her access and she rolled back to where she started and was sleeping right away.

We woke up around 7:30 this morning, and were told that we would have to be in the clinic by 8:30. This meant that we had to call Christine and make sure she would be here on time, which of course she was. Brenn was really scared to go and get her Lumbar Puncture, and bone marrow aspiration. Both Christine and I stayed in the room for the procedure this time. They do not allow first timers to stay with their parents, but as Brenn was on her second procedure now, they said that it would be fine if we stayed. It was interesting to watch, but also heart crushing. They put a needle that is about 4 inches long into her hip, and take out some marrow, then they take a "core sample" of bone and marrow from her hip (which is not a very nice thing to watch happen to your helpless 5 year old. Then they take some spinal fluid out of her back, and inject some of her chemotherapy drugs in, and the procedure is then over. All this would not be that bad I guess, but she is awake and can feel the procedure happening. When they were taking the bone and marrow sample, she was crying out and saying "owe, owe, owe" it was horrible.

Once the medicine wore off though, she cannot remember what happened to her. The rest of the day was quite busy for Christine and I. I went to Ikea with my mom and Samantha for an hour around lunch. When I got back, it was meetings with the nutritionist, and discharge nurse, our clinic nurse, and the ward nurse. Lots to know! I think we are starting to make strides into what we need to know. The nurses have all been quizzing us on all the things that we need to know, so as long as they know what they are talking about, then I think they are good. We are starting to feel a lot more confident in the knowledge that we have. I am sure that there will be a million questions within the next week or so, now that we will be out of the hospital and doing things on our own, but I think the base line is there, and they have set us up that if we have any questions, it doesn't matter what time of day it is we can call any one of our team and get the answers. This place is really good.

Again I can not say thank you enough to everyone for all of your thoughts, prayers, and care packages. We are all incredibly blessed, because of all the caring people that we have around us.

Scott

Monday, May 17, 2010

Today was a much different day than yesterday. We were still on isolation for almost all of the day. They finally sprung us at about 4:30 this afternoon. Thankfully though, Brenn is not sick. This is great news, as we will still be able to get out of the hospital within the next couple days! We are all getting sick of this place. The doctors and nurses are really great here, but you just can't substitute real family time, and a place where you don't have someone pocking at you all the time.

As I said though, today was a very different day from yesterday. Brenn was feeling sick to her stomach this morning, so the nurse gave her some Gravol. While it had the desired effect of making her not feel sick, she has been very lethargic all day. She is just laying in bed eating non-stop, and not talking unless it is to ask for more food. It really is amazing how much food Brenn has eaten this afternoon. They told us that she was going to be hungry but WOW.

There was also a chicken pox outbreak on the ward today, which is really about the worst thing that can happen on a oncology wing. They have given every child a vaccination, weather or not they have already had one or not. They are still going to send us to Ronald McDonald house, as most of the kids there were also exposed. They say that if Brenn shows any sings, they will not show up for another 7-10 days. So please pray that Brenn and the other kids in the oncology ward will not get the Chicken Pox, as this can be very serious with such a compromised immune system. Please also prey for the little boy that actually has the Chicken Pox, that he will be okay. He has been moved to another ward where he will be much less of a risk to the other kids around him and put into isolation. This is all very scary again. It seems like everything is 1000 times more scary now than it was a couple weeks ago. It really is amazing how life changes and takes you in a completely new direction.

Brenn has her lumbar puncture and bone marrow tomorrow. We are all looking forward to having a long morning with no food and nothing to drink. It should be really fun with Brenns new found hunger coupled with the fact that her medicine also makes really cranky....Should be fun planning what we might eat. There is still a chance that we might get out of here tomorrow. Dr. Bond was in earlier talking to us, and thinks that there should be no reason why we couldn't leave tomorrow.....YAAAAAAA! The only thing is she will be in a lot of pain after her lumbar puncture, and if she is in enough pain they will keep her the extra night. The nursing staff wants her to stay the extra night, so we will see what happens. We are a little scared about going home (to the Ronald McDonald house), and needing to know so much, but the only way we are going to learn is by trying on our own. Wish us luck!

We received another care package today. Thank you to Cedars Christian School, Integris Credit Union, and many friends. We really are overwhelmed and grateful for all the support that we are receiving. Brenn and Samantha are both getting spoiled and loving it, but all the gifts are really helpful. The girls are getting some toys to play with, and many practical things like clothing. Thank you all, it has really been a challenge getting all the things that the girls need while we have been here, just for the lack of time. It really has helped because we came down to Vancouver in such a hurry there was really no way to plan for all the things that we were going to need for the long haul.

Best wishes and thank you all for your prayers and support,

Scott, Christine, Brenn and Samantha

Sunday, May 16, 2010, Day 7

Today was a wonderful day.......It started out by me hanging out with Sam playing in Pitt Meadows while Scott and Brenn toured around the 2nd floor of the hospital. Brenn had visitors from Prince George who came baring gifts of comfort items for the whole family from Theta Nu sorority and my book club (thanks girls). It was shortly after this that Brenn began sneezing and coughing.......eeeekkkk......and so it began..... the isolation (as per protocol until test results are back to confirm or deny a virus (I'm thinking it's allergies)). Due to the isolation order Brenn had to miss her second set of visitors, auntie April, uncle Mike, and cousins Liam and Ella they will come back next weekend if all is well .

Okay so I'm sure your saying to yourself "hmmmm how could this be a wonderful day?" I will tell you, Brenn was happy, she smiled, she laughed, she played, she hung out with BOTH her parents for a couple of hours, she ate lots as she said she was starving and thankfully she finally SHOWERED!!!!!! Her 5 year old self had been convinced that she couldn't (wouldn't) bathe because she was hooked up to an IV and had the VAD, after some smooth coaxing from the Mama and some help from Glad Press N' Seal we prevailed and now we have a sweet smelling little girl again who by the way also has beautifully painted finger and toe nails that she did herself. Brenn is comfortably sleeping and hopefully continues throughout the night.

As a family we would like to say that we are truly blessed and thanking our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, our friends, family of friends, friends of friends, neighbors, Brenn's school community, the church community, and the Prince George community for all the love, support, and care packages that you have all shown and sent to us since our journey began. Know that you are all appreciated and loved by us and we are thankful that we have you in our lives.

Saturday, May 15, 2010, Day 6

Christine stayed with Brenn last night, while I stayed out in Pitt Meadows with Samantha at my uncles house. It really was nice to stay at my uncles last night. His daughters came out to visit, and we had a really good time, just talking and being a family.

Brenns morning had some ups and downs. It really has been noticeable over the last couple days that her moods are really changing. One of the drugs she is on for the first month has a side affect that will change her moods for the worse. When she is tired now, she will actually yell at the nurses, and at us, but she really doesn't make much sence. Once she calms down, it is quite funny, but it is scarry as well, because she is scared and angry right now about what is happening to her, and what she now has to do to get better. I guess reality is setting in, however, no matter how many drugs we give her, and how long we have been in the hospital, I am still having trouble believing all this is real.

We did get some great news today, we will becoming outpatients sometime this coming week. At the beginning, we had been told that we may have been able to get out of the hospital by the end of this week...yesterday or today...early next week is great to though. We had Ciara (one of Brenns classmates) dad come by today and drop off a HUGE care package from Brenns class, and from Ciara herself. Brenn expecially liked your poster with all of your hands and writing on it and the Pringles. Thank you all very much and thank you for all your prayers. Brenn really misses all of you, and sure would like to see you all. She sends you her love, and is looking forward to seeing you all in the next school year.

Brenns counts on her blood were down across the board today. She is quite tired tonight, and went to bed early. She was asleep by 6:45. Hopefully she doesn't wake up to early tomorrow, because I am getting run down now as well.

Good night all, and thanks for your thoughts and prayers, we do really feel blessed to be surrounded by such loving and caring people.

Friday, May 14, 2010, Day 5

Brenn and I had a fairly good sleep last night considering the 4 bathroom breaks, the 2 times the nurses came in for her stats, and the blood test at 6:15 this morning. She wants us to sleep in the same bed with her now, because she is so scared.

Brenn ate lots of breakfast this morning, and seemed to have quite a bit of energy. She wanted syrup for her scrambled eggs, which seemed a little weird. They have told us that with one of the Chemotherapy drugs she will have some crazy cravings, I guess this will start happening more and more, at least she is finally eating.

Brenn had to have 2 needles this morning in her leg called asperiginase (not sure the spelling). I had the life skills therapist, Lisa, come in and help me talk to Brenn about it. Brenn is really upset with needles now, she has had so many over the past week it is crazy. I can't believe it has only been one week. It seems like months and months already with all of the changes that we have made.

Brenns morning went pretty well today, we were able to go down to the gift shop this morning which she has wanted to do for some time now. She was unable to go before because she was on morphine to help manage her bone pain, and had to be attached to on machine that made sure she had enough oxygen in her blood in case she stopped breathing. She really enjoyed her trip. When we got back to her room she was very tired, and unable to contain her emotions. We may have over done it, but it was the most joy and freedom she has had in over a week, so maybe it was worth it?

Any way, that's it for now.

It seems crazy that 1 week ago we found out that Brenn has cancer.......it's so strange to say that, it doesn't seem quite real. I keep thinking that if I say it often enough my brain will catch up and believe it or I will not feel like I'm running on autopilot anymore. I'm afraid that the day will come and I will not be prepared for it........that is my fear not being prepared for our new normal.

Brenn's afternoon and evening were full of ups and downs. She couldn't decide what she wanted to eat, after trying the hospitals fabulous version of over cooked, unseasoned poached salmon she had a few bites of chicken pot pie, and then wanted a bowl of brown sugar with a sprinkle of oatmeal, which turned into a battle of the wills as of course she was not allowed to have this. She finally settled on peaches, three slices of orange and then an apple before bed. Brenn is currently tucked in to bed sleeping soundly beside me tuckered out from a big day of needles, managing pain without the morphine, adjusting to a new ward, her trip downstairs and having Uncle James, Auntie Jamie and Cassandra stop by for a visit. On that note it's to sleep for me as well.

Good Night

Week #1

First of all, what can I say, it has been one of the most frightening, frustrating, and challenging weeks of our lives. Thank you all for your thoughts, encouragement, and prayers. We have really felt uplifted by everyone who is behind Brenn through this challenge.

Thursday, May 6th, 2010 Day -4

Last night, Brenn had another really bad sleep, she was complaining about pain in her back, neck and that she was having trouble breathing. She has been having pains in her legs, hips, and upper body over the last few months, that we had been attributing to muscle, and growing pains. She woke up in the morning with another low grade fever (these fevers have been coming and going for quite some time as well, but seemed to go away within a couple days.) We decided this morning that enough was enough, because she was now not looking well either. We had been to the doctor a couple times over the last 6 months about these issues, but like us, the first thing you think of is certainly not leukemia. When we were at the doctors office today, we all kind of thought that she may have meningitis, so off to the hospital for some blood tests, urine, and a chest x-ray.

Later that evening, Dr. St. Rose called and told us that Brenn was severely anemic and that we really needed to get her on iron supplements right away.

Friday, May 7th, 2010, Day -3

Brenn had another really bad sleep tonight, just a lot more pain that usual these last couple days. Her bones are really hurting her. We woke up, and tried to have some breakfast before we went to the chiropractor. We had Dr. Urban (our chiropractor) take a look at Brenn while we were in her office, because Brenns back was just so sore, we didn't know what to do. She was unable to walk, I had to carry her, she was also really sad and scared because she didn't understand what was happening to her, and we had no answers for her. She had missed quite a few days of school over the last little while, and she was missing her friends as well.

After Dr. Urbans office, we went to buy some iron supplements from the health food store. While Christine was in buying the iron, Dr. St. Rose called for the second time today, and asked me if he could meet us at our house to talk to us...I am not going to lie...I was scared. Christine came out of the store, and I told her about the phone call, and we drove home in relative silence, as we were both trying to determine how we were feeling about this.

Dr. St. Rose arrived at the house at about 11:30, and told us that Brenn had some unusual white blood cells, and that it was suspected that she had leukemia. Life just stopped.

We went straight to the hospital, and had more blood tests done. We were then told that whoever was going to accompany Brenn to Vancouver had best go home right away and get a bag packed with the essentials and get back to the hospital quickly as the air ambulance could be there quite quickly. Christine went straight home, and within 20 minutes, they told me that the flight crew was on their way from Vancouver. Christine and Brenn left the hospital by 3:30.

Samantha and I went home, were I received more phone calls than I could really handle. Joe and Debbie VanCalsteren came over to help me pack up some belongings, and Gerry and Debbie Goertzen arrived with a care package, some words of encouragement, and prayers (thank you so much, your words, and clog have helped us more than you will ever know.)

Samantha and I got into the car, stopped at Wendy's and hit the road by 6:45. Samantha ate her food (thanks for the suggestion Debbie) and went to sleep right away. We stopped in Williams Lake, planning on stopping for the night at the house I have been renting while working there. Samantha was still asleep, so I got some stuff organized, and packed as much stuff as I could. Samantha was still sleeping, so I decided to just keep driving until I started getting tired, because let me tell you I was wired!

While we were driving to Cache Creek, Christine called me and told me that Brenn had had some more blood tests done in Childrens Hospital, and it was confirmed that Brenn did in fact have leukemia....this was turning into a really bad day. Brian Hillhouse was with Christine when they told her the diagnosis, thank God that he was able to be there with her, as he has always been a very comforting and knowledgeable person.

Sam and I finally crashed at midnight in a really bad hotel in Cache Creek that cost way to much money, and was not worth the 3 and a half hours we spent there.

Saturday, May 8th, 2010, Day -2

Samantha and I got up at 4 am and started driving again. Samantha slept until we got to Hope. It must have been Gods hand keeping that kid asleep for that long...she never sleeps like that in the car. We arrived at the hospital around 8:30, and Brenn was hooked up to many IV lines already. Sam and I were tired, but we were all together. The doctors and nurses came in and told us that the strategy for the weekend was just to keep Brenn comfortable. Monday would be the big day when we would get some bone marrow, and do a Lumbar Puncture to determine exactly what type of leukemia that Brenn had.

We had so many phone calls and e-mails from everyone giving us their prayers and support, it has really been amazing! Once again, we cannot thank everyone enough.

Sunday, May 9th, 2010, Day -1

It was a bit of a nervous day again today, Christine had slept at the hospital over night again last night, while I went to my Uncle Lyles house in Pitt Meadows. Samantha and I had a really good pancake breakfast before heading to the hospital. Christine and I had agreed that we would switch off back and forth staying in the hospital over night.

Today was another day that there was really nothing going on. Brenn started her morphine drip today to try to manage the pain in her bones. The pain is caused when the cancerous cells in her bones are fighting the good cells, and replicating really quickly, so the pressure in her bone marrow gets really high, because the cells are not able to get into the blood stream at the same rate as they are being developed.

My Mom came over on the ferry on Friday, as soon as she heard that we were on our way. She has been taking care of Samantha during the day while Christine and I are at the hospital. I really have no idea what we would do without her. She has simply been a god send for us. My Uncle Allan ran the Sun Run today as well. He did it for Brenn. Thanks man, I wish I had been able to be with you every step of the way, and it really meant a lot to Brenn.

Monday, May 10th, 2010, Day 0

I slept at the hospital last night with Brenn, and we decided that we would both fast together. She had been unable to eat since midnight because of her bone marrow, and lumbar puncture this morning. We went into the procedure room with her...what a scary experience. They don't really put her to sleep, but they give her a drug that makes her delirious, and not remember anything. She went really rigid, and her eyes kind of wandered in different directions. For all you parents out there, this is pretty close to the last thing that you want to see your child go through. If you have to do this, I really recommend closing your eyes!

The results came in later in the day, and we had a meeting with the doctors. They told us that Brenn in fact had ALL (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.) If you are going to have cancer, this is definitely the one you want to have. The cure rate is really high, however, it certainly doesn't make the treatment any easier.

Her recovery will take between 2 years 3 months and 2 years 6 months without any complications. The first month is going to be the hardest and most important. She will be recieving 3 different Chemotherapy drugs during this first month. The first is called Oncaspar which is an intramuscular injection. The second is called Vincristine which is and IV drug, and the last is Dexamethasone. We have talked to the team of doctors here and have agreed that these three drugs will give us the best chance to make Brenn healthy quickly. After the first month on these three drugs we expect to see no cancer cells left in her body, however that being said she is no where near done with Chemotherapy and it also doesn't mean that she is cancer free.

After the first month, she moves into a phase of her treatment called consolidation. This period can last either one or two months. This phase will use different chemotherapy drugs that will try to ensure that all the multiplying cancer cells are killed off. At this time we don't know what kind of drugs she will be taking during this phase or any other phase of the treatment but the first phase.

The next phase is called intermaintenance. This phase is designed to trick the cancer cells that have been "sleeping," or not multiplying to think that it is okay to start multiplying again. during this phase she is still receiving chemotherapy, but at a lower rate. This phase lasts for 2 months.

Step 4 is called Delated Intesification. As this suggests, during this phase, we will be really increasing the amount of chemotherapy that she will be receiving. This phase of the treatment will last for 2 months.

These four first phases are the toughest and will be requiring us to spend most of our time here in Vancouver. The doctor has said that if all goes well, then Brenn can expect to be back to school sometime in November. Which is encouraging to us.

The last phase of Brenns treatment is called Maintenance. This phase includes more chemotherapy but at a lower rate. This phase is designed to try to make sure that the cancer doesn't come back. There is a very low rate of recurrence, and we just have to pray that all of this works and that no cancer cells ever come back.

During this whole time there will also be many bone marrow and lumbar puncture tests. During the lumbar punctures Brenn will be recieving a chemotherapy drug called Methotrexate.

All this is all the information that everyone should need to get a really clear picture of what Brenn is going to go through. Please feel free to go online and check what each of these drugs do and what the side effects are. Brenn will be receiving a fairly low dose, so she will not be at too much risk of more of the longer term problems. When we have more information, we will be sending it along again to all of you. I know that it has been a frusterating weekend and beginning of the week, trying to figure out what exactly what Brenn has, and thank you all for your patience, now hopefully we will be able to get down to it and get Brenn feeling better, and then actually make her better.

This was a lot to take in, but the doctor and nursing staff at Childrens Hospital are all very caring, and understanding. Thank God!!!!!Thank God!!!!!Thank God

Tuesday, May 11, 2010, Day 1

The first day waking up knowing for sure that Brenn is a very sick little girl....It was a really bad day. Thats all I have to say about Day 1.....

Wednesday, May 12, 2010, Day 2

Today was a bit better. We actually got to go outside for a while with both Brenn and Samantha. It was a beautiful day. Sunny skies, and warm. Grandma, and uncle Allan were also there. What a great time we had outside. Brenn got tired after about 30 minutes, so we went back inside. We are really having a hard time balancing nutrition with the amount of time we give our selfs each day. Today my mom gave Christine and I 30 minutes to just go and have lunch together. We both wanted to talk about Brenn, but we decided to just sit and talk about life instead. We had a great lunch, it was the first time we had any time together since last Thursday. It seemed like years ago.

Brenn had surgery this morning to install a VAD (Vascular access device) she woke up crying, and didn't stop for more than an hour. She has been so brave, but just not understand what is happening to her. Christine and I really wish that one of us could take her cancer and put it into one of our bodies so that she doesn't have to do this any more. We are really broken about all the pain she has to go through. She is really anxious about the nurses coming in all the time, and the doctors touching her and poking at her, and taking blood all the time. We have really tried to explain it all to her before everything happens, but how to you explain something that she has no experience with. She just doesn't always understand.

God has really been answering all of our prayers though. We moved into the Ronald McDonald house yesterday. It is kind of a hard environment to have Samantha in, but it is really close to the hospital, and takes away most of the stress of driving every morning. I was able to relax, and check my e-mails there last night in some relative peace and quiet.

The phone calls keep pouring in, we are very blessed with such a strong support system. I am feeling like you never really know how much people care, unless you go through something like this. Thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement. it really does sustain us.

Thursday, May 13, 2010, Day 3

I went for my first run since being here this morning. Samantha and I got up this morning, and all I wanted to do was get to the hospital, so we had a tiny amount of food, borrowed the stroller from the RMH (Ronald McDonald House) and ran to the hospital. MCC housing had a suite available for us that I went to look at with my Mom and Samantha this morning. The suite is used partly as the head office for More than a roof during the day, and as much as we would love to stay there for the interim, it just won't work with Brenn needing a very clean environment as her little immune system will be very fragile for a while. They are going to try to find us another place somewhere in the area. Please pray that this will happen. Staying at RMH is fine for now, but having to chase Samantha around the house with a spray bottle of bleach is very stressful right now. We know that we will have to be doing this wherever we end up staying, but at least if it is our place, we will have a little more control over where she goes, and the house will not be so big!

April, Ella, Casandra, and Auntie Joan were here today to see Brenn. It was nice to have some of Christines family stop by to visit. They were jsut returning from Casandras graduation art show. Congradulations Casandra. My mom and Uncle Allan were here again today. They have provided so much support it has really been great.

Christine and I decided today that we really need to start spending some more time with Samantha. She really has seen very little of us over the past week, and we really need to attend to her needs as well. Tomorrow, Christine is going to stay with Samantha for the morning, and meet Brenn and I at the hospital for lunch. I will likely leave the hospital around 4 so that I can spend some of the afternoon with Samantha before she goes off to bed at my Uncle Lyles house out in Pitt Meadows. Thank you Uncle Lyle for being so gracious and opening your house for us.

Brenn had a hard day today. She was really tired, and had some trouble with crying. Tomorrow will be a better day for her. She is sleeping now, and looks beautiful, and healthy, other than the IV post and IV lines running to her chest.

Good Night, and love you all