The last week has been the most unnerving and scariest week that we have had since the first month that we were here. Brenn is doing very great mentally and emotionally but physically the chemo is doing exactly what it is suppose to.....bringing her counts down fast! Wholly Hannah scary stuff! Brenns nose started running on Tues. so we brought her in o get it checked out, our nurse decided to blood then as Brenn was do for it the next day anyways. Her platelets were a whopping 24, she normally sits at 300!!!!! Now for those of you who are not familiar with what the platelets do they are the bodies bandaids, without them you just continue to bleed if cut, bruise by the smallest touch, when they are really low a nose bleed will begin and it will not stop. Brenn had no symptoms of having low platelets so this came as a surprise to Scott, myself and the doctors, we all decided to hang tight on the transfusion and keep an eye on her. By Thursday Brenn developed petecheia (broken capillaries) along the sides of her neck . I immediately call clinic to discuss a plan of action as this is a sign of her platelets being at a critical low. Brenn was still fine as she was not bleeding as of yet. We brought Brenn in Friday morning, her platelets were 10. Writing this I am feeling the anxiety I have felt the last few days, the constant worry of the what if's. Hitting her head could cause massive bleeding, cutting herself more blood, bumps resulted it bright red, purple, black and blue marks as they aged. Living in fear of ones 5 year old playing normal 5 year old games is not a fun place to be. Scott moved Brenn's bed as she could hit her head in her sleep, start bleeding and we wouldn't know. The last week as be spent saying "Brenn don't run, Brenn be careful, please be careful with Brenn her platelets are low" over and over again. So we got platelets yesterday and on Monday we go back to clinic and her counts will be checked again as Brenn's hemoglobin was 1 point away from when they normally transfuse. Our little person is black, blue and red poke a dotted, and a nice shade of really white! We are glad the week is over, and we are thankful that the chemo is doing what it is suppose to do, KILL the rest of the cancer living in Brenn's body, but in doing this it also kills the healthy cells and so we are living through this coming out the other side and looking forward to returning home to live a reasonably normal new life.

Well, Saturday was a really big milestone for us. Brenn will no longer be getting any chemotherapy from the hospital until we begin maintenance. We still have a few days left of chemotherapy pills that she has to take every day, but once we are done those on Wednesday, we are done the intensive phases of Brenns treatment. What great news!!!!

We now have to wait until her blood counts come up to a normal level before we start her 20 month maintenance phase. This phase will involve some low key chemotherapy pills taken every day, a monthly shot of vincristine, a quarterly lumbar puncture (that is to be administered in Vancouver), a one week out of the month an oral steroid, and her three days a week antibiotic. All of the drugs that she takes during the maintenance phase are designed to keep her blood levels just below normal, and try to successfully kill any stray cancer cells that may still be circulating in her bone marrow. While she is taking these drugs however, life should be fairly normal. We have to eat dinner earlier than we are used to, but physically, Brenn should be normal after a few months.

We have had a busy, but great weekend. Friday, as most of you know was Christines Birthday. We were able to get out in the evening together, and we met up with all of my cousins from Vancouver, and had a really great time relaxing and having some much needed fun time. Saturday, we went to the hospital in the early afternoon before heading out to my Uncle Lyles house to play with the dogs, and help sell their pumpkins. The money that they raised is all going to Leukemia research, so it was quite a special day for us. Today was another relaxing day that we went out to my Uncle Allans house for another birthday dinner before coming home tired, and ready for bed.

Scott

We have had a really great last couple of days. Brenns energy levels are still incredible even though her hemoglobin is really low. She is scheduled to get a transfusion of red blood cells tomorrow morning so that she will make it through the weekend without having to worry about much. Other than her general low red blood cell counts, things are still going pretty well through this part. We were really worried that this part of her treatment would be really hard, and while it hasn't been easy, things have gone quite well for her. So now we are all very hopeful that the remainder of her treatment goes as well as it has been going.

After treatment yesterday, we took the ferry across to Victoria so that we could see my Mom and Grandma. Grandma had a doctors appointment in Victoria, and since it was so close to Christines birthday, we all decided to take the opportunity to get together before we go back home to Prince George. It was an incredibly beautiful day here and in Victoria, and we were able to play on the beach, and soak up a little bit more sun before the rain really sets in here. My Mom and Grandma took us out for a really nice early dinner before we hit the ferry back to Vancouver. It was a really fantastic day, and we are all really glad that we were able to go kind of at the drop of a hat.

Today Brenn and I went to clinic while Christine and Samantha went to the pumpkin patch with some of the volunteers from RMH. Brenn and I had a good time coloring and waiting for her blood counts to arrive back from the lab, and from what I hear, the pumpkin patch was a lot of fun as well. I am really enjoying every day that I have with the kids right now. I know that when I get home, I will be working every day again, and the girls will be in school and pre-school, and Christine and I will not have the same amount of time with the kids as we have over the past 6 months. It is really odd to think that 6 months ago, I was working in Williams Lake, and I wouldn't see the girls for 10 straight days. I would really miss Christine, Brenn, and Samantha, but it was okay. Now I can't even imagine going to work for 8 hours, 5 days a week, and only seeing them for a few hours everyday. Getting back to normal life sure is going to feel abnormal!

Scott

Good news today! We are finally back in Ronald McDonald house. Thank God that our stay at the hotel is finally over, and the kids have some room to run. Both of the kids have a ton of energy right now, and they were really starting to not only get on each others nerves, but they were driving us nuts as well. All in good fun I guess though. Arriving back at the house today was really great timing for the kids. Tomorrow all of the Halloween festivities get under way, and they are both really excited about it all. It was a beautiful day today, and we were lucky to get all of our stuff done early this morning, and enjoy the afternoon and evening. We again were the beneficiaries of more free tickets, and were able to go the Stanley Park with the girls and another family from RMH to ride the ghost train. It was really fun for the kids, and really not scary at all, so the kids had a great time. It was themed after Alice in Wonderland, and they really did a good job. I am sure that the girls didn't understand what was going on, but if you have seen the movie, I think that they did a great job with the story line and characters.

At the clinic this morning, Brenn was seen by nurses, doctors and physiotherapists in order to make sure that all was well. She had a blood test, and much to all of our surprise, her hemoglobin was really low. She is not displaying any real side effects that normally come with low hemoglobin, so we did not transfuse her today. Most likely, tomorrow she will get some red blood cells to boost her back up, as we are still actively treating her, and her counts will not be coming up on their own right now. Other than her hemoglobin though her blood counts were fairly good for right now. The physiotherapist spent quite a bit of time with her today, as her ankles are getting weaker from all of the chemo that she has received over the past 6 months. This is a fairly normal side effect, but she has started compensating for her lack of strength and flexibility by pronating. It is just another thing that we will have to keep our eye on for the next couple of years as she develops further. She will still be getting the particular drug that causes this problem every month for the next two years, so we have quite a few stretches that we have to do, and maybe in the future, we will have some strengthening exercises to do. Strengthening right now will actually cause further damage as her feet are not moving correctly, and her muscles are not ready to take strength.

It was a good day today, coming back to RMH was a real blessing. It is really nice to see all the people here, and share once again in the comradery of the house. Even though sometimes living with all these people can really get us down, it is an incredibly positive environment where everyone is pretty well in the same boat, we all know what is going on with our kids, and we are just looking for support from one another. I am not sure, now that we are nearing the end of this wild journey, how we would have made it through all of this without our new friends here at Ronald McDonald house. Thank God for all the people who keep this place up and running, without it, things would be a lot different for a lot of families!

Scott

It's been a pretty good weekend all around. Brenn was given a new wig through an organization here that provides wigs to children with all kinds of cancer. I was hoping to post a picture of her with her new hair today, but we are still sequestered in the hotel, and we left the cord to transfer the pictures at RMH. We are really wanting to get back into RMH as soon as possible, but, I think that we still have one more night here at the hotel, so maybe back for Tuesday. All of us have a lot of pent-up energy living in the hotel, and we are all looking forward to having a little more room to roam when we get back into the house.

We feel as if we really have been enduring for a long time down here in Vancouver, and we are all really feeling ready to come home. We are looking at possibly the 12th of November as long as everything goes well. We still have many chances to be delayed, and this is the earliest possible day that we will be able to travel. Christine and the girls are planning on flying home, as it will be to much for Brenn to drive the whole way. She starts to complain after only an hour in the car right now. Her skin is very sensitive, and she says that her bum hurts. It is very exciting for us to be looking forward to coming home so soon, but at the same time, it will be very scary to leave the protection of all the medical staff here at BC Childrens. It has been a long road, and we are worried about what our new life is going to be, there has been a lot of changes in relation to our time here. There have been a lot of things that have become lower priority, and some things that have become far more important. We are really looking forward to seeing everyone who has supported us for so long as well, we have really felt blessed while living down here. It is amazing the support that has rallied around Brenn, and she has really shown her truly beautiful spirit. Not to get ahead of ourselves, we still have quite a bit of work to do over the next few weeks, but there suddenly seems to be light at the end of a very long tunnel.

Scott

We are still staying in the Hotel, and we are all pretty stir crazy. It has been a really interesting couple of weeks, and we have all been focussed on dealing with Brenn being sick. Christine went to Prince George a week and a half ago in order to drop off our car. Our car has developed a couple of issues that we are not sure if we want to fix or not, and right now is not the time to be really worrying about our car. We have another month and a half or so left here, and then we have to transport all of the stuff back home that we have here. We were both quite stressed about the car, so we had started looking for a replacement vehicle. Eventually, I talked to Ian (my boss), and he worked out a deal with Northland Dodge that we would be able to have use of a 2009 Dodge Grand Caravan until we were able to get home, and decide what we are going to do about the car. Now that I have had a day to sit and reflect on this, I am again overwhelmed by Ians generosity, and the generosity of others that have never met us. So, our much loved Subaru is now sitting in the garage at home, getting some much needed time off, and we have the time that we need to make a decision about what we are going to do about transportation when we get home. A really lucky side-note with the van is that it is huge, and will be able to swallow a whole bunch more stuff in it when we finally do get to come back to Prince George.

Brenn is still somewhat sick, and as a result we are still staying in the hotel. The kids really have a bunch of pent up energy (well mostly Samantha), and are really having a hard time expelling that energy playing here. Brenn doesn't always want to go out, and there are fewer and fewer places daily that we can go. Brenn will be getting lower and lower blood counts quite quickly right now, so we are wanting to keep her out of public places. We feel right now (just getting over a cold) that we want to be very vigilant and keep her healthy over the next little while so that we will not get delayed again. We are all getting ready to come home, and are all looking forward to spending time in our own house. It has been a pretty crazy time down here, and now we are all looking forward to coming home, and trying to get back to normal, however, we are all unsure what our new normal will be.

Scott

Good news today, Brenn got the go ahead to receive chemo today. Yesterday chemo was touch and go as Brenn's doctor was uncertain if he was going to give the go ahead on chemo as Brenn still has her cold and they thought that her ANC only rose to 1.5 because her body was in a fight or flight response. I don't think that they really know still but her body is strong and so is her attitude so away they went and gave Brenn her treatment today. It sounds so ridiculous to be happy that your daughter got the go ahead to get chemo, but for us that means that we are one step closer to going home, we all really feel we are in the home stretch.

The next few weeks will be very hard as the drugs given today and the chemo she will get everyday for the next two weeks, and an additional chemo that goes 4 days on 3 days off will all bring down her counts dramatically. We were told today to expect delays, hospitalizations, and transfusions as this is normally what happens. Maybe my daughter won't be so normal, maybe her body will be able to fight back as it has been for the last 5 months and she will sail through....here's to hoping. We are prepared for all that is suppose to come and seem to be at peace with it, it means thats she is at the end of the delayed intensification phase and is healthy enough to return to her "normal" life...ha ha ha what is normal now. Anyways Brenn is so looking forward to returning to PG and to going to school and seeing her friends.

We are still at the hotel for an undetermined amount of time and RMH has extend their generosity and support here too, they have been packing us (our family and another family here) food from family dinners and checking in multiple times a day to be sure that we are doing okay and knowing that we are missed and loved. Again we are so blessed to be surrounded by such support and love through this time.....it seems as though most of the our relationships with others old and new have developed a new depth and realness, life is now in perspective.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!! We have alot to be thankful for this year......We are thankful for the type of cancer that Brenn has as it has a very high success rate, and that Brenn is responding so well to the treatment, we are thankful to be able to be going through this as a family as we are much stronger together than we would be apart, our families and friends have been an amazing support and for this we are more thankful than we could every express, we are thankful for RMH and the individuals and families we have met there as they have helped us in so many ways we can't even count, we are thankful to our community as a whole for rallying around us so that it has been possible for Scott to stay with us and in saying that Scott's boss Ian who has been so unbelievable, he is a pleasure to know. We are sooooo thankful that we were loaned for the duration of Brenns treatment a new van to travel around in from Northland Dodge in PG so that we didn't have to worry about looking for a new car right now. The list could go on and on but I'm sure you all get the point....lol.

Little update, we are still at the hotel as Brenn is still sick. Her fever is gone and has been since Friday but she still has cold like symptoms and a very forceful cough, she seems to be feeling well though as she states that she is fine and is quite active throughout the day. We will be seeing the doctors again on Tues to determine what is next for her treatment plan and whether our family can go back to RMH. The rest of the family appears to be fine and as of yet has no cold symptoms so for this I am also thankful for:)

We took that water taxi from downtown to Granville Island this morning we enjoyed hanging around outside listening to music put on by a very talented Peruvian, we perused through the market and then ate lunch outside and looked at the water in the marina to find some interesting sea life before we had to taxi back because Brenn sat in seagull poop. It was a beautiful morning and we all enjoyed ourselves, it was nice to get out as we have been cramped up for the last little while.

Tomorrow evening will be a treat for Scott and I, all the residents in RMH have been invited to watch the hockey game in Louongo's box. Yeah!!!!!! Scott's cousin will be watching the girls for us, they love Nicole so it will be a treat for them as well. We are very excited to be able to finally go to a game together and have such an awesome opportunity.

Much love,

Christine

Today was a rough day. Brenn, Sam and I woke up around 6:30 this morning, and both girls were tired as a result for the rest of the day. Both girls were quite cranky, and were really uninterested in doing anything all day. Brenn has been having a low grade fever for the past week or so, and we have been watching her quite closely to make sure that her fever didn't start getting to high. Her temperature has been running between 37.5 and 37.8 over the past week, and we are to call the hospital at 38. This morning, I checked her temperature, and again, her temperature was 37.5, so we went for a walk down to the Safeway to get some food for the day, and enjoyed the leaves and the chestnuts that had fallen out of the trees. The girls threw the chestnuts across the street, and collected some for Christine. Once we got back to RMH, the girls went about their normal routine, enjoying some craft time with some volunteers, and then watching a movie while I did our chores and some laundry. Once I was done, I came down to make some lunch. Brenn ate really well, and was asking for more, but I asked her to hold on for a few minutes while I finished the soup that I had made before I made her another sandwich. Brenn went into the TV room to continue watching the movie that they were playing. Right after I finished my soup, I went into the TV room to make sure that Brenn wanted her second sandwich, I put my hand on her head, and noticed it was really hot. Brenn had been displaying completely normal behavior, there was nothing apparently wrong, but when I checked her temperature, she was 39.2. I was really shocked! It was only 3 hours since I had checked her temperature the last time, and it had gone up 1.5 degrees. By the time I got her to the hospital, it had gone up another .2 degrees in only 15 minutes. It was really scary, but after checking her out really well, the doctors decided not to admit her, instead our social worker found us a hotel that we can stay in until her fever breaks. It is not really the best way to start the long weekend, and I have decided now not to go to Victoria this weekend for the half marathon that I had planned to run. Things change really quickly, and I am not surprised or disappointed about this weekend, and hopefully things will get better right away. We have to go back to the hospital tomorrow in order to get another bag of IV antibiotics, and hopefully the hospital will give is the okay to go back to RMH. As much as we want to be out of RMH from time to time, having to leave this way is difficult on the girls most of all. Please keep Brenn in your prayers tonight that her body will be able to fight off this bug, and we will be able to enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend with what has become our family at RMH.

Scott

Getting to this a little late tonight, so I will be a little bit brief. We have had quite a slow few days since last Thursday in the hospital, in preparation for today. We left the hospital on Thursday with Brenns ANC (her immunity) at .41, anything lower than .5 in considered neutropenic and at a high risk of infection. We needed her ANC to be at .75 before we get her next dose of Chemo, and we knew, leaving the hospital that it was most likely still on the way down. At this stage of her treatment, we also knew that it would be really miraculous that it would come back up to .75 by today, but we were all really hopeful that it would. Brenn, Samantha, and I all walked to the hospital today, and had a really great time walking. It was a beautiful morning here, and we enjoyed the crispness of the fall morning. Brenn was having some difficulty walking today, her legs are really getting stiff, and her feet are starting to slap more when she walks, but she still wants to go as often as she can. We went up to the lab to get her blood work done, and then back to the clinic in order to see a couple of nurses, and the physiotherapist. We were in the clinic for about 45 minutes, and then received most of her blood counts. The ANC results did not come in with the first sheet, so the nurse and I discussed what we predicted, and agreed that we should stick around until the ANC came back in. The girls and I went to the cafeteria, bought some soup and sandwiches, and went directly back outside, firstly to avoid people, and secondly because it was a great day for a picnic. We had a nice leisurely lunch before heading back to the clinic. We waited another 20 minutes or so before the nurse informed us that we would in fact be delayed, and that we would have to come back in next Tuesday to do more blood work. Long story short, in one quick stroke we have extended our stay here in beautiful Vancouver by one more week. We of course have been anticipating (dreading) this eventuality, but we had hoped that we would be closer to the end than this. In reality, we really hadn't expected that we would be delayed this early. Most kids are not delayed for another week or two, but with the medicines that she will be getting over the next month, we still expect to be delayed from them. This break in no way changes how the next month is going to affect her. We are all still scared, and just wanting to be home for some home comfort, but I think that we are doing well. I have been having a hard time lately, but I have been feeling steadily better every day for the last little while. Christine told me the other day that negativity breeds negativity. I have been quite negative towards another person in RMH, as he and I do not see eye-to-eye, and with all of the stress involved in out day to day lives currently, we just cannot seem to get along. After Christine told me about my negativity, it gave me pause, and I stepped back from it. I am proud to say that last night, I actually talked some small talk with this person, and just breaking the ice between us, I think we both feel better. It took someone else to help me realize that I could change the situation if I wanted to, and it worked! I am quite sure that in the end of all this, I am not going to be this persons buddy, we have very different views on life, but getting through the rest of the time here without worrying about how this person is going to anger me next will help me in many ways I think.

Lynn and Leora Wilde went home today. They were our very close friends in the house. I am really sad that they are not here anymore, but I am truly happy that they were able to go back to Prince George. They have been here since December 30, 2009! They really deserve to go home. I am also really glad that they live in Prince George, and we will be able to carry on a close friendship once we get back home as well. It is really remarkable how close you can get to another family really quickly living here, and sharing a lot of the same feelings of pure terror, and pure unadulterated joy. We will miss having the Wilde family here every day, but having them not here is almost better than having them here simply because that means that things are good!

Scott