We had a real treat of a day today. Brenn is currently always a bit tired, and today was no exception, but we headed off after a pretty good morning to the Vancouver School of Massage Therapy! They opened today for the Ronald McDonald House only. We were treated to an hour and a half reflexology appointment. It was the first time that I have ever experienced such a thing, and it was quite nice. There were 10 of us in the first session and another 10 in the later session. It was nice to have some time to just relax, and not think of anything for a while. It still amazes me that so many people are so willing to go out of their way to help us in any way that they are able!

I have been working on our car over the last week or so. I have been trying to find things that I can do just to keep a little busy. There were a few dent in the bumpers, and some paint transfers from various contacts over the years. I went and got some cut polish, and spent some time with a rag and my index finger scrubbing all of the transfered paint off. I felt like my finger was going to fall off by the time I was done! Once I got all of the paint off, I heated up the dents with a heat gun, and was able to push the dents back out. It still has a couple of ripples were the dents were, but it really looks a lot better. A little bit of hard work really makes a huge difference. I have also planned to replace all of the electrical plugs in the common areas of RMH, as a donation. I am currently unable to give a monetary donation, so, by offering my services, I am doing what I can to give back tot he house, while I am able to. Nedco in Prince George is supplying all of the material that I need to do the job, which is also really great. The thing that has really gotten to me while I have been down here is the shear lack of anything to do. I am really used to being busy, always with a project on the go at work and home, but being here I don`t have that opportunity. I have really been looking for ways to stay with Christine, Brenn, and Samantha while finding something to keep my time occupied. Let me tell you, I have become much better at playing Rock Band since I got here!!!!

Christine and Samantha are heading off to visit some friends in Vernon tomorrow. It will be a nice, and necessary break for Christine. This will be the first time in the 3 months since we have been here, that Christine will have a break. I am sure that it will be a great time, and I am sure that all of our friends are really looking forward to seeing her. Brenn and I have a few things that we have planned to do while they are gone, and are looking forward to some time together. It will be hard not having Christine and Sam here for a few days, but I am happy for them that they have the opportunity to get out of RMH, and the hospital environment for a few days, and enjoy some of the summer! I hope that the trip goes really well for them, and pray that they will be kept safe in their travels.

Scott

Wow it's been a while since we have written, the last three days have been going reasonably well for us. Wednesday was the roughest day as Brenn was really not feeling well when she woke up, she ate very little throughout the day and her temp was still 2 degree's above her normal. We hung around the house for most of the day so that Brenn could rest, my uncle Rob came to visit for a couple of hours, we went for ice cream and to the candy store. When we returned from our brief outing Joe and Debbie Van Calsteren had to come to visit. It was comforting to have people who are close to Brenn here and be able to unload all of the stuff I have felt bogged down with over the last few months, it was like the flood gates had opened up. Brenn and Sam enjoyed spending time with them as it was a little bit like home for them :)

Thursday Brenn woke up and she was feeling great her temp. went back to her normal 35-36, she ate breakfast and then continued to eat for the rest of the day......yeah!!!! We had a doctors appointment to check her mucusitis and it was almost gone....go figure, the sores except two were healed over, her tummy was soft, she had only lost .1 of a kg and her stats were great. The doctor was happy with her progress.....great news for us as Scott and I were beside ourself with worry. The rest of the day we just stayed close as a family and waited for Scotts mom and Grandma to come in from Campbell River in the evening. When Elaine arrived Scott and I ducked out for a few hours to spend some much needed time together after the girls were fast asleep.

Friday late morning and early afternoon we spent with Scott's family at his uncle Lyle's going for lunch, picking blueberries and having a water fight. The girls loved it and kept asking for another water fight which Lyle graciously obliged and took the brunt of hose from two equally soaked little girls.....everyone had a great time. Upon return to the house all residents got together and made a family dinner of pork loin, chicken kabobs, beef, corn on the cob, potatoes and all the fixings.....yummmmmmy! The girls are off to bed and I will be going to spend some time with my Uncle before he leaves back to Calgary.

We had a really fun day today. If it wasn't for Brenns stubbornly high temperature, I could have relaxed and enjoyed it a bit more, but it was really great none the less. This morning, Christines Uncle Rob came down to the house. He is on vacation from Calgary, and happened to show up on one of the hottest days yet in Vancouver. It was 29 degrees at the waterfront today! We started out by going to Shabusan for a sushi lunch. It is an all you can eat place, and the food is quite delicious. Afterwards, we headed for Kits beach to enjoy some splashing around time trying to stay cool. We were really protective of Brenn while we were there, because it was so hot. We made sure that she was drinking lots, left her hat on and stayed in the water for as much time as possible. Of course the water part was quite easy to enforce as she loves playing in the water, and has had a really difficult time with not being allowed to go into any public pools, or water parks this summer. After Kits, we took Rob on a tour of Stanley Park, spending some time up at Prospect Point, and showing him all kinds of things all the way around. It is kind of fun going through Stanley Park as a tour guide. It helps you remember all of the really interesting, and beautiful things that we can sometimes take for granted when you are allowed the opportunity to go as often as you would like.

We came home and had some dinner, then broke out the hair cutting kit. Brenn and I both needed a hair cut, and another little boy in the house wanted to get his mohawk cut back in. We set up outside, and started with Ryans hair. For my first mohawk, I think that I did a remarkably good job. Brenns hair has started to fall out again, so it was starting to look a bit funny again. She agreed right away to cut her hair. She went even shorter than last time, not that it really makes much difference. She really looks good without hair, and she is not the only girl in the house that walks around bald every day. Even though Brenn has had an elevated temperature over the last few days, she has still really been active, and happy. There seems to be almost nothing wrong with her. She still gets a bit tired, walking around, but always wants to play as hard as she can. I am going to try to take her in to the clinic to get her checked out in the morning. She has had a temperature for long enough now, and we would really like to know what is going on, and make sure that she is okay.

Scott

Today was a very quiet day for us, we stuck around the house all day doing low key things such as crafts, painting, watching shows, and playing a bit in the backyard. Brenn's temp increased point by point throughout the day until it leveled out early evening...thank goodness. Her mouth is quiet sore still particularly the corners of her mouth which is causing her not to want to eat much. I made her salmon with rice and salad for dinner, she ate alot of salmon a chunk of cucumber and two bites of rice, doesn't seem like much but for us we were ecstatic as she barely ate anything all day. For me this is the cause of alot of my stress right now as nutrition is the key to her fighting the cancer, coping with the chemo and recovering from this illness. I know that this is a normal part of the process for the children fighting cancer but it's hard as a parent to sit by and watch what is happening to her without any way to help but to rack my brain making meals or drinks with the highest calories, with the fat, protein and carbs that she needs so desperately. Both Scott and I know it will work out in the end, it's just tough going through it sometimes. Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers, please continue to pray that Brenn's body fights against the mucusitis and that her pain is minimal. All our love

Brenn and I had a date today! While Christine and Samantha went to Sea World with their seasons passes (thanks Terry), Brenn and I found a cheap place to rent a bike and a follow along bike (a Bike with one wheel, and pedals that attaches to the seat of my bike), and took a tour around Stanley Park before heading out to get some lunch. It was a really great thing to do. Brenn was able to just sit on the bike and be outside enjoying her beautiful surroundings, and have a great time. It was really fun just hearing the joy in her voice, I have really been missing our little dates that we take. Samantha and I have been able to spend a lot of time together, just the two of us since being here, but Brenn and I have not got as many dates in as we usually do.

I noticed that Brenn started getting a bit of a fever today, not much but a little bit. This morning she was fine when I fist checked her, but this afternoon, I have taken her temperature quite a few times, and her fever is creeping up ever so slowly. Brenn usually runs a bit cool, and her temp has risen about 2 degrees Celsius over the course of the afternoon. It is still a couple points away from calling the doctor, but I will certainly be checking her again before I go to bed tonight. She seems to be quite healthy, other than she is starting to tire quickly again. During our date today, I carried her most of the time when we were done with the bike, and she did very little pedaling, and she was still complaining of tired legs. Sometimes I think that she is sandbagging a little so that I will carry her, but for now, I will give her the benefit of the doubt (and I really don't mind the cuddles I get when I carry her). Her sores in her mouth are getting a little worse as well, so I have been on edge all day worrying about her. I am sure that she is fine, I just really wish that she wasn't going through this! I know that this is all for a good cause, but the disruption that it has caused our family is pretty significant, and I just pray that in the end, the kids will both be okay with it. They are both young, and keeping some form of routine for the girls is really important for both Christine and I. We have always tired to keep a pretty good routine for the girls day in day out, and down here it is really difficult. There are always lots of people around, there is no school or work, or normal day to day things, so it is quite different for them.

Please keep praying for Brenn that her mucusitis doesn't get any worse. It looks bad right now, but we trust the doctors, and respect their opinion, so for now, we are sticking with the treatment protocol. If her mucusitis gets much worse though, we will have to adjust the protocol because her little body is having trouble with the side effects. Also, please pray that her fever comes down, we really don't want to spend much more time in the hospital than we really need to. Thank you for continuing to help us through this time with all of your thoughts and prayers, and congratulations to Dan, and Jenessa who were married today in Whistler at 5 pm.

Scott

We had a good day today. We headed to Stevston for lunch and browsing with another family as they had never been there before. After looking at the fresh catch of the day from the various fishermen everyone was up for some airplane watching near the airport. the Kids loved it, Scott boosted the 4 kids up on top of the Ronald Macdonald Van that we borrowed and the kids screamed "air Canada" and waved at each plane that came in regardless if it was westjet, Jazz, or a united states company.....it was so funny. At about 3 we made our way back to the house to drop off the other family and then for a quick gaunt to the beach to have a small visit with Scott's cousin Nicole. Brenn just wanted to keep going today, we finally insisted on coming back to the house for dinner.We ate lasagna, did some crafts, watched a goofey movie and then the girls jumped in to bed. The weather has been beautiful in Vancouver and we are very lucky that Brenn is doing as well as she is so that the whole family can get out and enjoy the outdoors. It is a huge reality check for us as there are children that we encounter on a daily basis that are not able to enjoy this beautiful weather or have the strength to be active. We are very blessed in our life.......

Clinic day today...It was a tough one for sure. Brenn has developed some mouth sores and some jaw pain over the past couple of days which we have seen before, and didn't really think were a big deal right now. However, the mouth sores are called mucusitis, and these sores go all the way through her entire digestive tract, and out the other side. We have known that her bum has been sore for a little while now, but we were prescribed some cream for this in the second round, and have just been using the cream again to help her be more comfortable. Her mucusitis is not to bad yet, but we will be going to the hospital more often throughout this round now, so will have to stay close to home, our short lived freedom has now been taken away, but Brenns health is far more important, so we don't really care to much...During this round of her treatment, the drug called Methotrexate is responsible for the mucusitis. Some children are more susceptible to the mucusitis than others, and the doctors were somewhat surprised today that Brenn had developed symptoms already. Methotrexate is the drug that we will continuously be increasing every 10 days in the clinic, and if she has already had a reaction to it, this may be a really long couple of months. We were prescribed a couple of different drugs today to help combat the symptoms, and the pain, but they symptom medication isn't a drug that is used in all hospitals, and there is debate on weather or not it actually works. Our doctor recommended that we should use it, so we have faith in him, and will try it out. We are now worried about Brenn, when we weren't yesterday, but I guess it is just another thing during this crazy time we are having.

The rest of the day was pretty good. Uncle Allan came in to watch Samantha while Christine, Brenn and I were at the clinic this morning. Thank God for Uncle Allan being able to come and spend time with Samantha while we are in clinic. Clinic would be really hard if Samantha was there with us. It is a time when we get to talk to the doctors, nurses, nutritionists, physiotherapists, and social workers. Without both Christine and I to be there, we would have a really hard time getting to take in all of the information. With Samantha at the clinic there would be absolutely no way that we would be as informed as we are. Today we talked to all of the people that I listed except for a physiotherapist. Today was the first clinic visit that we did not see her, because Brenn is still walking pretty well. All of her tendons in her legs seem to be doing pretty well right now, so hopefully that symptom will stay away for now at least.

When we got home, we made the girls some lunch, and hung out with Uncle Allan for a little while before we had to go back to the hospital to pick up Brenns new prescriptions. We came back home, made some dinner, which only Samantha, Christine and I ate, because Brenns mouth is really sore. We made her a high calorie smoothy, and she sipped on it a little. We are going to have to get used to her not eating very much now. The doctor explained that mucusitis is quite painful, and usually kids simply will not eat. This is the time that they were telling us that Brenn would loose all the weight that she gained in the first month! We just pray that she won't get any worse, because there is a real possibility of hospitalization if we can't get it under control. Please pray that that will not happen! She is a tough kid, but she doesn't need any more problems to have to deal with.

Scott

Today was a fairly busy day, even though we hardly left the house. Brenn and I went to the hospital this morning for some blood tests, which went really well. We put on some 'emla' cream, which numbs the skin, on her arms, and headed off. Brenn was so brave this morning, she didn't cry at all! It was the first time that she was able to get a needle and not get overly stressed out. This is great news, it's just sad that she has enough experience with needles that she is okay with them putting them into her now. I guess it comes with the territory though. Having such a great morning at the hospital really set us all up for a really great day. We all had a lot of fun with each other today. When Brenn and I got back from the hospital, a couple of girls came into the house to do some arts and crafts with the kids, so Brenn and Samantha were both occupied for a good hour and a half which gave Christine and I a really good chance to get some things done that we have been trying to do for a few days. It is really nice when we have a chance during the day to get some stuff done. It is amazing that when I was working, I had more free time during the day at lunch or break time to get a couple little things done. When you loose those set times during the day, things really start to pile up quickly.

For a little drive today we went out to Metrotown mall for a couple hours after lunch. We rode the little train that tours through the mall, and then walked all the way back looking in a couple stores, and just really meandering. It was nice to go out together and just have nothing to do, letting the wind take us wherever it wanted. When we got back, I needed to lay down for an hour, I have really been having some trouble sleeping as of late, and while I was laying down I again could not sleep. This really is not uncommon for me, but, I sure hope that I will be able to get some sleep soon. I find when I am not sleeping, that my body gets really sore, and I get to a point where it even hurts to much to run, which I find further compounds the problem.

After I got back on my feet, a few people were in the house to make us another family dinner. They made Maui ribs, chicken, corn on the cob, potato, and Caesar salad, hot dogs, and around 10 different desserts. It was a real treat tonight. The ribs were amazing! There is still a lot of leftovers, so I am looking forward to lunch tomorrow, or maybe a midnight snack tonight (I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world if I am unable to sleep tonight;). After dinner, another man was in to do some more crafts with the kids. The kids sure got spoiled today. They love having all the people in to do crafts with them. Two people in one day was a rare treat for them. Also tonight, one of the long time volunteers brought his game trailer for everyone to play in. he has built it all by his connections and donations. There is something like 4 networked PS3s, lots of other games, all kinds of activities. It really looks fun. I will try to take a couple pics of it, and post them, it really is incredible the lengths that the volunteers go to here to make us all feel better. It makes a really big difference.

Today was perfect for me. I had a really tough day yesterday emotionally, and just seeing all of the support that we are getting here really helped to start turning me around. Spending time with Brenn this morning was really nice as well. Lately it is really important for me to be close to Brenn, and make sure that she is okay. I know that sounds weird, of course I want to be with her right now, but it is more than that. Being with her makes everything better, I can't really explain. She is doing really well, and Samantha is really coming into her own down here. Sam had some trouble for a while, but as she has always done in her life, she has really adjusted to her new environment. She is such a great little kid, she is the comedy relief in our life, and without her, we would certainly not giggle as much. She really pushes her limits some times, but most of the time it's so funny that it is really hard to not laugh. I think that she really makes Brenn feel better most days, just having her close. This time in our life will affect the rest of all of our lives, and being together is really important. We all need our breaks, but the days that we are together are really great. It's good to be here, it's hard to imagine anything else, even though it's hard living in a communal house, and constantly be around other people, having our precious time together is irreplaceable!

Scott

Well, what can I say? It's really been a pretty good few days. After we left Saturday, we really had a great time in Campbell River. Christine and the girls left yesterday, and I stayed on to help Mom and Grandma strip the old paint off the deck, and bench behind their house. What a huge job! I had no idea how much work it would actually be just getting a small deck ready to be repainted! It took a gas powered power washer, some biodegradable paint stripper, and another go with the power washer on Tuesday. This morning, I got up, and had to wash the deck with a cleaner, that also halted the paint removal process of the stripper. Now, the deck is finally ready to paint, but alas it was to hot today, so, Mom will have to get started on it tomorrow. It was a lot of work, but at the same time it was kind of nice to have a job to do for the whole day on Tuesday, just for the distraction! I am still feeling quite stressed out, and am really not sure why. I keep telling myself that Brenn is going to be just fine, and there is going to be no more big problems for her when this is all over, but I just can't shake the feeling that she is going through a lot of garbage right now, and I really hurt for her. No child should have to go through all of this, and it makes me quite sad.

Brenn has been such a strong little girl, we have truly been blessed with her. She has such a great spirit, it's hard to imagine. She is still after all this, mostly happy. There are times when things are quite bad for her physically and mentally, and it is hard for us to balance how to go about being good parents to her. We are all tired and stressed out, but we are together, and that is what is most important. When Christine and the girls left Campbell River Tuesday, it was hard for me to be alone. It is the first time that I have had more than and hour or two without at least one of the kids being with me since we came down here in May. I had a lot of time to think today while I was on my bus, and ferry ride back to Vancouver, and quite frankly right now that is not a great thing. There is still to much stuff going on to sit and think about everything. We are almost half way through the acute part of her treatment, so there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's weird to think about how much time has elapsed, and how many things we have learned and gone through, and yet we are just half way through!

Scott

Hello all, were back.....on Saturday we decided on the fly to go to Campbell River after we were done puppy sitting. We caught the 730 ferry and off we went. We had a great time visiting Scott's mom and Grandma, the girls love the island and we were all quite relaxed and happy while there. Elaine bought a kiddie pool so that Brenn could feel like she had some water of her own.....it worked out fantastic, the girls played in it for two days, they enjoyed it and we felt that Brenn was safe. It's so weird for us to always have to worry about what exactly she or anyone else has come in contact with. Especially now that her counts will be dropping again. What else did we do...hummmm we went to April's point on the little ferry launch and explored the island picking up crabs, snails and Chinese hats. We spent some time watching the hermit crabs playing around in the tidal pools, well until Sam fell. The story of our life Sam the crazy no fear child thinks she can do any thing anywhere.... have you ever seen a two and 11 month old puddle jump in mini tide pools and danced the jig at the same time, well this is a recipe for falling and smacking ones head on some sharp jagged rocks. Okay before you think bad thoughts she was fine, no blood just a little bump and a whole lot of crying for about two minutes and then she was up and running again. We had a great time.

Scott stayed in CR to help his Mom and Grandma out with some deck maintenance, the girls and I decided to leave early this morning heading to Ladysmith to meet up with a family that use to live in PG. We met Kris, Kristian, Kalem, Annisley, and Miria at the beach for a few hours. The girls striped down to there skivvies while crab and sea star searching (lots of crabs no sea stars) and then quickly changed into their swimsuits to splash around in the ocean. Brenn and Kalem shared his boogie board trying to ride the small waves coming in.....it was fantastic just to see her swimming around having a great time and not having a worry in the world. Our day ended with a quick two hour ferry ride back to Van., some play time with the girls favorite playmate Hannah (now known as Hannah Hannah Bobanna), a fruit smoothie, and then the girls wiggle waggling into bed, and not to have been heard from again tonight.

Today was a nice slow paced relaxing day. Scott went and spent some time golfing with my brother. Both seemed to be pretty impressed with themselves when they got back, saying that it was an enjoyable day. While the boys were gone Julie, Cooper my brothers 10 mth old beagle, the girls and I hung out in the hotel for a bit, had some bagels and cream cheese for lunch and then we went to Deep Cove.

Now I'm thinking that Deep Cove is now my girls most favorite place to visit as Brenn asked if we could buy a house in the neighborhood and move there....ha ha ha......We would love to live there but I'm thinking not anytime soon, a little out of our price range right now....lol. Anywhoo it was a great afternoon. We walked around the paths in the park, played on the beach and in the water. The girls slowly kept creeping deeper and deeper into the water getting their skirts wetter and wetter, it was cute to watch them plunging there arms in to the bottom pulling out rocks covered in barnacles. The girls love the water, beaches, rocks, everything that has to do with ocean. We saw two sea otters, had a muscle or two spit at us from beneath the sand and poke their feelers out to explore the girls fingers. AND just before leaving the beach we saw a jellyfish right there on the beach...this totally freaked and excited the girls at the same time....it was quite funny. By the time we finished on the beach and the girls played in the park for a bit it was time for ice cream. We headed back to the hotel, had some relax time watching tree house and playing with Cooper until Scott got back.

We had a quick dinner and then the girls fell into bed done for the day. My brother and Julie are off to see some whales tomorrow, so our family is puppy sitting.....should be an interesting day, maybe we'll go back to Deep Cove.

Take Care and Good Night

Today was another pretty stressful day, but I think it was more a continuation of yesterday. I have been feeling quite overwhelmed the last week or so, there is so much going on, the girls just want to play, but Brenn gets tired, and really cranky and upset that she just can't continue playing with as much vigor as she wants to. Brenn had the biggest melt down in Stanley Park that I have ever seen today. She seemed to be doing quite well, until she slipped and scraped her shin on some cement. The cut was only superficial, but we are quite paranoid, so before I was going to let her play in the park again, I wanted to get it cleaned and covered with a band-aid. We went over to the first aid stand at second beach, and told the life guard what was going on. Things were fine until we started to try to put the band-aid on, and Brenn lost it...big time! She understands why she needs to wear a covering on the cuts, but for some reason today it was not the right time to apply something sticky to her. We tried everything that the first aid stand had, but nothing was good enough. the first aid stand is right beside the concession stand, so the was about 100 people there watching while Brenn kicked, and screamed at the top of her lungs at me for at least 15 minutes. It was really difficult! Brenn was probably not feeling very well from all the drugs that she got yesterday, and combined with all the people being around, she just could not deal with what was going on.

Terry and Julie, April, Lium, and Ella, and my Uncle Allan were all at the beach with us, along with another family from RMH, but after 15 minutes of continuous freak out, we knew that it was time for us to get out of there. We left everyone at the beach, and headed back for a nice relaxing afternoon. Uncle Allan and Christine both had a nap while we watched a movie with the girls. We played in the play room for a while after that, and then Uncle Allan told us that he would watch the girls for us and feed them their dinner if Christine and I wanted to get out for a little while. We jumped at the chance, drove down to Kits, had a beer, and then went for a really nice walk on the beach. I discovered a really quiet beach just to the East of Kitsalano Beach while I have been running down there. It was great to just stroll along with Christine in the beautiful sunshine, and relax after the past couple of days we both really needed it. I think that we are both feeling a little better after our break this afternoon, and now are looking to have a really great day tomorrow. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts! We are starting to get through some of the emotions of the past few days.

Scott

It was a stress filled day for Christine and I today! Brenn had her clinic day this morning, and started her new round. It is really stressful for Christine and I when we start a new round for Brenn. There is always a lot of new information, new side effects, new drugs, and new ways of administering old drugs. Brenn had 2 drugs through her IV today, Methotrexate, and Vincristine. Both of these drugs are really toxic to the body, Methotrexate goes after the white blood cells, while vincristine goes after pretty much all of her blood. This round is designed to trick her cancer into thinking that we are not really doing anything, which is why we are using the same drugs that we have been using, and slowly over the next 2 months increasing the dosages. So long as her blood can take the increase in medicine, we will continue to increase every 10 days. the good news about this round is that we only have to give her medicine at home 3 days a week, and we only have to go to the hospital 2 days in a row once every 10 days. Brenn will probably not feel quite as well as she did last round, but she should still be feeling okay. She has already started to complain about a sore tummy, but other than that, her first 12 hours post meds have been fairly good.

Christine, Terry and Jullie, and the girls all went off to the aquarium this afternoon, while I hung out with Cooper (their dog). I attempted to apply for EI while they were gone, and after about an hour and a half of working at it online, I ran into a couple of question. I ended up calling the toll free number, and after waiting another 1/2 hour on hold found out that even though I have been paying into EI my whole life, I am ineligible for benefits. They provide coverage only if Brenn had a probability of dying over the next 12-24 months! I really don't understand the system sometimes. We have been supported by so many people, we have been truly blessed. We have been in awe of the support that we have been shown, and feel overwhelmed by everyones generosity. I am trying to do everything that I can in order to support my family while we are here, and there is surprisingly little support from the government, or government programs such as EI. I fail to see what difference it make weather or not Brenn is going to die in the next few months makes. Brenn has a disease that we feel, and have been told by our doctors, that we should both try to stay together through. If Brenn had a broken arm, or a problem like that, I would stay home and work, but not having access to programs has been really frustrating. I really want to thank everyone for all of your generous donations! Without them, there would be no possible way for me to stay here much longer without any other outside help.

From what I understand, Brenn and Samantha had a really good time at the Vancouver Aquarium today. Terry was really generous and bought our family a year membership, so now we can go whenever we like, either for a short relax visit, or whatever we want. The kids really love the aquarium, and it is quite close to us, so I am sure we will be taking full advantage of those passes. What a treat to get a pass, we are really thankful for them! Also, Christine seemed to be feeling a little better with her allergies today. She said that she took 5 different pills this morning, and whatever she did, it seemed to work, so hopefully she has found a stop-gap that will take her through to her doctors appointment tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers, they really showed that they helped today with both Christine and Brenn. We have learned through all of our battles here, that everything we go through, God has an answer for. As frustrating as my battle, and non-understanding of, EI today was, I know that we have already received a lot of outside help, and I feel that we will be able to make it through. Our stress levels seem to be kept in check most of the time, but they are always right at the breaking point it seems. Christine and I both have times that we are barely holding things together, and other times were we simply cannot contain our feelings anymore. It has been a really great couple of weeks, but the stress of our situation has never really left us. We are also all at a point that we would love to come home, and sleep in our own beds, and see our friends, and have a normal life for a while. I am really sorry about all of my rantings tonight, but it was a difficult day, and I just needed to get most of this stuff off my chest. It is all in hopes that I can get it out, and hopefully make tomorrow a better day.

Thank you all for you support, I really am emotionally overwhelmed by everything that you have all done for our family. I can't support my family right now by myself, which I am really used to being able to do, and it has been a hard adjustment to have everyone else helping us out. Thank you for caring enough to support my family! It means everything to us, and we thank God for all of you every day.

Scott

We had an extremely busy day today. We started the day by having a quick breakfast and heading off to the hospital for the first time in 12 days! We had a bit of a mix up at the hospital so it took an hour longer than it was supposed to have. Brenn had her blood work done today in order to asses her status for starting her new and third round of chemotherapy tomorrow. The next phase that we are moving into will last for two months and is called Interim-maintenance. This phase will still have some pretty big scary drugs involved, but they should be at a lower dose. It is predicted that these next couple of months, Brenn should be feeling pretty good, however, there is a change, and there are side effects that she may or may not get. It is always scary starting a new set of drugs, as it is another unknown. It has seemed that with Brenn and Ryan both being on the same protocol at the same time, that there are many similarities in the reactions they have to the medicines, and also some very major differences. Brenn had a pretty hard time of things in the first month, and an pretty easy time during this last phase. Ryan had a pretty easy go of things during the first month, but a pretty difficult time during this last month. Hopefully this phase both Brenn and Ryan will have a better go of things, because September and November sound like they are going to be pretty scary months, with lots of sickness, and back to some of the eating, and moodiness problems that we experienced during the first month of her treatment.

It turned out today that Brenns blood counts were all right around were we all thought that they should be, so we are on schedule to start her Interim-Maintenance tomorrow. This of course is good news that she is still doing quite well. Christines brother arrived in town yesterday, and once we got out of the hospital, we were off to North Vancouver via Starbucks to meet up with them. There was a TV show being filmed at their hotel today, which provided a ton of excitement for the girls. They brought their dog, and the girls were very excited to play with him. We all went out to Ambleside beach and enjoyed some sunshine. It was a bit cloudy this morning, but turned into an absolutely beautiful day. We played at the beach, had some lunch, which we got from the greatest grocery store deli that I have ever seen. It was in Park Royal malls grocery store, it was busy, but you could get anything you wanted from there. There was freshly made sushi, pork roast and pulled pork, roast beef, paninis, salads, any hot lunch you could want, coffee shop, and tons of deserts. It was all quite impressive, and above all, fairly reasonable.

After Ambleside, we headed off for a tour of Stanley Park, where we watched some boats, and sea planes taking off. We didn't really stay for long as Terry, Julie, and the dog were all pretty tired from their long drive over the past few days, so we headed back for North Van to drop them off at the hotel and came back to RMH. It was nice to come back, and relax for a little while before having dinner, bath and bed. Christine has really been having a problem with her seasonal allergies since we arrived here in Vancouver. She is now struggling with finding a medication that will work, as her symptoms seem to be getting worse not better. It has really been frustrating for her as nothing she tries seems to help, and every day seems to be at least as hard for her as the last day. She is trying to get in to see her doctor again, but it may be another week before anything changes for her.

Tonight, please pray for Brenn that everything goes okay tomorrow, that her reactions to the drugs she will be taking will not be to bad, and her body accepts the medications the way that we will be giving them to her, and also for Christine, that she starts to feel a bit better soon. I just found out that one of the other families in the house just got a call from their doctor. Their baby, Claire was born very premature. While their baby seems to be responding well to the treatments that she is on, they just found out that Claire needs to have surgery on her eyes as there is a problem with her retinals. Please pray for Johanne and Chad (Claires parents) that they will have extra strength, and that Baby Claire will be okay. It is always hard around this house when another family is having a problem, as we all grow so close together knowing what each other is going through. Thank you all for your constant and continued support and prayers.

Scott

Today was a different day for me. We all got up at 7 this morning, and ate some breakfast together. Christine went off to her hot yoga this morning, while the girls played with their friends downstairs, and I did some chores, and took some time to just read the paper. It was a nice start to the day. We went off to the Space Center here in Vancouver with another family, and one of the other boys in the house. We all had a pretty good time looking at all the cool stuff, and watching a film on our solar system in the auditorium. It was all really neat, Brenn really loves the solar system, and has been interested in space for quite some time, so for her it was a really special thing that did today.

Christines brother Terry and his wife Julie arrived this afternoon. They are in from Calgary, and we are really excited to get together with them tomorrow morning. We really don't get to see each other enough, but I guess that is what happens in life, as circumstance change. Tomorrow will be a big day! We are off to the hospital tomorrow for blood tests to find out if Brenns blood counts are high enough to start her third round of Chemotherapy! I am apprehensive for no good reason I suppose, but since it has been over a week since the last blood test, it is really hard to have a good feeling for it. Christine and I both think that she is in need of some red blood cells, but we will find out tomorrow. It really is weird to know what signs to look for when it comes to what she may or may not need in her blood, but she is still doing really well. She still has lots of energy, and lots of spirit!

Some days down here are pretty hard even when we are so blessed with lots of things to do, and lots of time together. Living communally at times can be difficult, since not all people in this house have the same morals, or ideals that we do. Some times it gets a bit stressful, but overall it has been incredibly good. There was a family in here over the weekend that really made it tough to be here. They really made everyone stressed out, and no one wanted to be anywhere near here or around anyone else. They have left now, and everyone has sighed a huge sigh of relief, but for some reason, I have been unable to break the funk so far. I am sure that tomorrow will be a better day, as we are going to see Terry and Julie, and also get some answers to blood levels. Thanks for the prayers!

Scott

We started our day having breakfast with Scott's dad, his dads wife Marion and Grandma, we were out of the house showered, dressed and in the car by 7:30am now that is amazing. After breakie we headed back to the house, the girls and I hung out while Scott went for a run. We had a relaxing mid afternoon watching a movie and then went for a drive through Stanley Park and then to check out the park around the planetarium. All in all a good day again.

My brother, sister in law Julie and their dog Cooper are coming tomorrow for a week to visit us, the girls, Scott and I are so excited to see them, it should be fun just bumming around at the beach with the puppy and having family dinners. Anyways good night all,

Love the Smith's

Today was a long day. My Dad is in town right now, so my Dad, Marion, and Grandma Smith all came over to RMH pretty early this morning. We gave them the grand tour of the house, before heading off to Ambleside beach in West Vancouver. We spent a good few hours there really enjoying the kids while they played in the water, built sandcastles, and ran around. It was a beautiful day today, and it was easy to enjoy our time outside. We went out to Horseshoe Bay for lunch, and a walk on the pier before heading back down to White Rock for dinner with Grandma Smith. It was a very enjoyable day, but we are all really tired after a long day in the sun.

Brenn has been feeling pretty good today, she did get tired from all the walking that we did, so I ended up carrying her for part of the day, but even when she is tired, she never complains, she just really wants to be with everyone, enjoying all the things that she can. She is a truly remarkable little girl. We I get tired, often times, I just feel like stopping whatever it is I am doing, and just taking a break. Brenn just has a really great attitude towards life. It doesn't really bother her that she is sick, or that she is bald, or anything. She has not allowed it to get her down. She makes us all smile everyday, just for the fact that she is herself, and she is beautiful as herself!

We have a less busy day tomorrow, we are meeting my Dad for breakfast in the morning, before he and Marion have to go back to Alberta, then, we really have no plans for the rest of the day. I am sure that a day of recovery will not be a bad thing at all. It is supposed to be another brilliant day tomorrow, so maybe another day out at the beach is in store? We are so blessed to be able to share all of this time together. It really has been healing to our hearts as a family. Just the time that we get together has been really amazing in helping us understand this situation together. This would be very difficult from a distance, and we thank God that we can all be together to go through this crazy situation together! Thank you for all your support and prayers, it has obviously helped us through this time of need.

Scott

Another really hot day today! It really has been amazing how quickly the weather has changed here. It was overcast and rainy for most of June, but now that July is here it is BEAUTIFUL! We had a really slow day today, I went for a run this morning, and by 9 o'clock when I left, it was already to hot, but it has been quite nice to be out running, I have had a problem with my right foot for the past couple of months, and it has really made a huge impact in the amount that I have been able to get out. I have started making strides in making it feel better, and have been able to run two days in a row for the first time in quite a while!

It was a pretty tough day for the girls today for some reason. There were lots of tears, and a few tripping incidents today. We think that the heat may be getting to them, not sure though. Brenn has had a stuffed up nose for the past little while, that we have put off as her normal allergies so far, however, she woke up this morning with her voice sounding sick. She says that she feels fine, but it is always quite distressing when we have even the slightest thought that she may have a cold. I talked to our clinic nurse this afternoon, and she told us to just keep an eye on it, and that they would only be concerned if Brenn started having a fever, trouble sleeping, or not eating and drinking the way that she normally does. We have taken her temperature throughout the day, and she seems to be fine so far, so hopefully she will be okay tomorrow. It really is stressful of Brenn when we think that something may be going on in her body, because we are hyper vigilant in watching her, and making sure that she stays safe. I am sure that she doesn't really understand why we make such a huge deal out of a little change in her voice.

My Dad is coming for the weekend, he arrives tonight, so we are looking forward to spending some time with him. This is his first trip out to see us since Brenn was diagnosed, so I am sure he is looking forward to spending some time with Brenn as well. We are planning on spending some time at a beach tomorrow, and having a barbecue, which we are really looking forward to. My Grandma Smith, and my Dads wife Marion will all be coming to see us, so it should be really nice. The only thing that we are worried about is Brenns endurance. It is supposed to cool off by a couple of degrees tomorrow, so hopefully things will improve.

Scott

We had a quite relaxing day today. We had to do some grocery shopping, and some shorts shopping as we left most of our summer stuff in PG (I really didn't know what to bring for Christine). We accomplished that in the morning, and spent the rest of the day hanging out at RMH. It was incredibly hot today, the hottest day so far for sure, and we were really grateful for the air-conditioning here at the house. The girls also slept in for the first time in a long time this morning, which really made a big difference for all of us today. The girls seemed to be re-energized, and Christine and I definitely felt better. I guess that there is not really anything to report today, which is always a really great thing, as this means that things are good. Days like today are a real blessing to us, we were just able to have a nice time with the other families in the house, and enjoy each others company without having anything lingering over us. Tomorrow we have little to no plans as well, so, another run tomorrow in the heat, and the rest of the day with the kids, sounds like a great time...

Scott

Both girls were really tired today after a pretty rough night. They went to sleep late, and woke up really early this morning. We had a couple things to do this morning, and it really went badly! Brenn was really upset, crying, and just not really able to handle the situation, so we were continuously stopping, and trying to make her comfortable. It was quite a struggle. We got back to RMH around 3 this afternoon, and after a really hot and sticky morning running around, both girls just needed some time to recover. We went to our room until the girls had settled down, and relaxed a little bit, then Christine took them into the TV room to watch the animated movie 'Oliver.' It turned out to be a great idea, and we were able to make it through until dinner without any further incidents. After dinner, we played outside with some of the other kids in the house, and had a meeting with a lady from Canadian Cancer Society. The girls went to bed on time, and seem to have gone to sleep, so tomorrow should be a better day.

The heat really seems to take a lot of energy from Brenn. At times today, she seemed quite sluggish, but always recovered to having lots of energy again after a short while. It has been quite difficult to get enough water into her as well. When she is on the go, she doesn't want to stop to drink, and when shes feeling bad, she doesn't want to do anything that she deems silly (which of course means anything that Mom or Dad asks her to do).

It really has been a great couple days, just being together in the beautiful weather really has been restorative to the soul. We are all in a more relaxed mood most of the time, and we are all enjoying each others company. The girls go between Christine and I choosing which is their preferred parent of the moment, which I enjoy, because I can always have one kid to concentrate on, and have some individual fun. They are both at really different stages of development right now, so when we are out at an activity, most often, both kids are doing different things. Brenn and Samantha are really getting along quite well again and we are very thankful for that. There was a time not long ago, that Brenn could not handle having Samantha around, and it was really hard on everyone. They are much happier girls again now that they are back to playing with one another. It will be another really hot day here tomorrow, so one of the Moms in the house took the liberty to go and buy a slip and slide for the back yard. I am thinking that all the kids are going to be lathered in sun screen, and sliding through the yard for a really good portion of the day. Brenn has really wanted to go swimming, or play in the sprinkler or something for the past couple days, and since she can't go in the pool, I think tomorrow will be great for her.

We received a card in the mail today from one of our friends in Prince George that had some Safeway gift certificates in it. How great is that! We are still in complete awe of how much our friends, family, and community have supported us! We are very blessed to have such loving and caring people around us, who really do care, and want us to be together to better assist Brenn throughout her treatment. Thank you all, we are truly grateful.

Scott

Another great day for the Smith girls in general, beautiful weather the day full of walking, parks and trails. Brenn's mental energy and drive to keep up is slowly taking a toll on her as she is always wanting to run and play but her body and emotions are having difficulty keeping up. She is tired but refuses to let it keep her down so then she will hit a wall and burst into tears. She had two really good crying sessions where she just wanted to hang out by herself and just let it all out. I'm thinking that this is cathartic for her but it is sad to watch and difficult to explain to her at times. Brenn really wanted to go swimming today but due to the germs and bacteria in all pools indoors and out we just can't let her go......mission this week is to find a water park that she can hopefully just run through and play that isn't going to be too crowded in the 30 degree weather....yeah yeah I know good luck. Maybe a sprinkler in the back yard of RMH might be what the doctor order.... a good water fight to bring out and release pent up emotions would do all the child and parents good I think.

Life is good and we are truly blessed that Brenn is fairing well even in her low times, we have many angels surrounding us and protecting her in heaven and here on earth. I am still brought to tears daily by the outpouring of support and love from those who Brenn has touched. I received two emails today, one from a women who we have mutual friends in common. It was her sons 1st birthday and her family asked that instead of gifts if those attending the party would like to donate the funds to Brenn and our family, they deposited the money with the request that if we see fit that the money be spent on something great for the girls to do or have. The second email was from a mom of one of Brenn's class mates, Ty on his own accord wanted to do something for Brenn, he decided to go bald for Brenn and raise some money from his mom's work and from his family. Thank you Ty for supporting Brenn in this way, she is so lucky to have so many little people who care about her so much. Good luck to you in Alberta. Brenn smiled a huge smile when she saw your picture and she says thank you.

Thank you to all for you thoughts, prayers and support we feel it every day.

Take Care

We had another pretty good day today. Brenn had another pretty good day today. We did a lot of walking, and playing today, so Brenn was a little up and down. It really is great to see how much she is able to do right now. Throughout the day, she got me to carry her for a little while, but after 5-10 minutes, she was ready to do again each time. We always have in the back of our minds that her treatments are going to get a lot harder again, so we are trying to cram in as much fun as she can handle every day. Its kind of a different lifestyle than we are used to, but we are all enjoying ourselves watching the girls play.

Both girls are having a hard time listening, so we are trying to keep some order in their lives, while letting them get away with some things that they would normally allow. Life has been a little hard lately, so, trying to let them play, we feel, is the best way to keep them both comfortable. The fact that we are all together, is also a different thing for them, but I think they are happy with it. Just a short note, as we are all tired today, so Christine and I are going to spend some time together tonight, and get to bed a little early. Thank you all for your undying support.

Scott

Berry picking that's what we did today.....yum. What a great afternoon, we drove out to Ladner with another family and picked strawberry's for about an hour and a half. The girls loved it, going in and out of the rows picking the ones that they thought were ripe and good enough for Brenn to eat. After we paid for our berry's we sat in a green space and drank fresh berry milkshakes, smoothies and ice cream. During our ride home Uncle Alan called Scott to chit chat about the tour and to invite us for dinner.

Brenn, Sam, Scott and I had a fantastic dinner filling our belly's with ham, scallop potatoes, fresh green beans, raw veggies, pie and ice cream....ha ha I sound like Brenn recounting all the food we ate. It was great having a home cooked meal made with love :) Well that's it, that was our day. The girls had a great day, laughing, playing and just being kids.....

Today was the first day of the 2010 Tour De France. Christine and I really love to watch the tour every year, it is kind of one of our special things we have with one another. Lance Armstrong beat his main rival Alberto Contador by 5 seconds in the opening time trial. This may not seem like a big margin, but it is a big confidence boost for Lance as he failed to beat Alberto last year in the first stage time trial. It looks like it will be another really interesting year.

As for us, we had a super busy day today. Two of the other families really wanted to go to Playland today, but we were quite reluctant as it is a Saturday. We made no commitments to going, but when we woke up and saw that the weather was quite cloudy, we decided to go, as we hoped there would be fewer people there. As it turns out, we almost had the place to ourselves, there were very few people there, and we all ended up having a blast. We have really been blessed with great house-mates. We have all been able to share a lot of the expenses of most of the things that we do, and as we do them together, the RMH lends us a van, so we also split parking as well. As it turns out, Playland is a pretty reasonable place to go when you have kids. The adults get in as a accompanying parent, so we don't have to pay to go on rides, and the kids are cheap to. The only thing that could get expensive is the games, and thankfully my kids just want to go on the rides. It was really fun, we had 5 adults, and 4 kids. The oldest kid was 9, and she really wanted to go on all the good rides, the next oldest was 6, and he just wanted to hang out with his mom, Brenn, and Samantha wanted to go on all the little kid rides, with Brenn wanting to go on any ride that she could. We all washed our hands about a thousand times today, after every ride, we made sure that we used hand sanitizer, it may have been overkill, but when you have two kids with cancer, and three paranoid parents, I guess that is what you get.

Brenn did get pretty tired at Playland, we stayed for about 3 hours, and both Brenn and Ryan went from wanting to stay to needing to go within about 10 minutes. As soon as we all noticed that they were starting to fade, we headed for the exit. It really is remarkable how much energy they have these days, just a couple weeks ago, they were not able to even walk up a flight of stairs, now they are running around, and playing, and really having fun, like all kids should! This has really changed my outlook on the kids. Whenever there is a chance for them to be having a great time, there is no problem now. We may indulge to much, but once Brenn was diagnosed with cancer, a lot of things went out the window. We are a much stronger family, we pray a lot more together, and we try to have fun every day. That really sums up everything that we do now. Life has changed so much over the past couple months that it is hard to even recognize our past life, there are so many things that have lost priority. Life really feels different.

Thank God we are together

Scott

Well, it was a pretty good day again today. We had a few more melt downs today than normal, and we are not completely sure why that is, but I put the girls to bed a little earlier tonight, in hopes that they will both feel better tomorrow. Brenns appetite is starting to drop off again. She is starting to tell us that everything tastes like nothing. Things have been going so well over the last couple days, that it is hard to believe that there is something even effecting her, but there are always things that will bring us back to knowing what is going on and why we are here. Today was a bit of a reset day for me. I think that it was good to have a reset now, we were starting to get comfortable, and we really need to keep the fact that Brenn needs lots of protection at the fore front of our minds!

I made pancakes, and sausages with strawberry syrup for breakfast this morning. The kids really liked the sausage, the rest they pretty well left on their plates, but Christine and I enjoyed it. Breakfast was when I started to see that Brenns tastes are really changing again. We knew that this would happen, and have kind of prepared for the fact that she would not really be interested in food all the time again. She had a few times in the day when she really wanted food, but once she got the food, she didn't really want it. She picked at lunch and at dinner, and only had a small snack in between. We really have been pushing the water into her. We are really afraid of dehydration right now. Ryan went into the hospital this past week with dehydration, and we really don't want that for Brenn. The medicine that they are both on really makes their kidneys work hard, and they have to flush all of the dead blood cells through them, and thus they need a ton of water, or juice. The doctors say that they should drink anything clear, and the nutritionist says that she should drink water (I think I will side with the doctor, since the only way I can really control caloric intake right now is through juice).

Any way, another pretty good day! We made it to the beach today for a little while. It was a really beautiful day in Vancouver, and since most people took the day off, the beach was really busy. We found a nice place to sit, and play in the sand though, making sure that Brenn kept her hat on. We finally took the trimmers to Brenns hair yesterday, and she is looking really fantastic! She looks absolutely beautiful without hair! She is always a really great looking kid (I may be biased, but I am allowed), and we were all worried that she would be uncomfortable, and shy without hair, but I tell you, this kid doesn't care at all. She likes herself, and doesn't care how many people look at her! When we are out around town, everyone looks at her, some stare at her, and this does make us a little upset. I think that I am okay with it now (not great with it), but it still bothers Christine. She is such a great mother, she really doesn't want anyone to look at Brenn like that. She is very protective of Brenns feelings now, and quite frankly it is beautiful to see. The love that they have for one another knows no bounds.

We have really been blessed with two wonderful children, and this time that we have to spend together. This has been a really difficult road so far, and we still have a long long way to go, but the time that we get to spend together, is really precious. We are all getting so close, we do everything together. I really feel blessed with this time. I am having a hard time understanding that feeling, because Brenn is sick, but with all of the prayers that we have received, and all the support, we have really become inseparable. I thank God that he has given us this precious time, I just can't figure out exactly how to feel about it, it is really hard to understand!

Scott

Happy Canada Day! This is already our second holiday since we have been here, and our first that we were able to get out and enjoy some of the festivities. It took us quite a while to get out of the house this morning, thanks mostly to me sleeping in until 9:30 or so. I really was tired this morning, and was really grateful for the sleep. Once I was up, we started making some plans to go downtown to see what was going on. We left the house just after lunch, and headed first to Robson St. where the kids had their faces painted, and got balloons, flags, and some tattoos. Robson St. was really busy, and lots of really excited people. We cruised around Robson for about an hour, then headed down to Canada Place.

Canada Place was really exciting! There was people everywhere! We pretty well stayed outside so that we were still in fresh air, and away from germ, washed our hands at every hand washing station, and did not eat anything from down there, but just with the precautions we took, things went really well. We had a great time, we saw the Olympic torch all lit up, and saw the big globe in the conventions center, watch a band playing for a while, and danced around with some of the rest of the crowd, watch some acrobats, and just took it all in. I had forgotten how much fun Canada Day really is in Vancouver. The girls really wanted to watch the fire works tonight, but they don't start until 10:30 tonight, and there was no way that they were going to stay up that late!

All in all though it was another great day in the string of great days that we have all been experiencing! Ryan got back out of the hospital today, and was looking a lot better, and we all had some time to talk and play, and have a nice relaxing late afternoon! God really has heard everyones prayers about Brenn. She has been doing so well, and right now in her treatment, she is allowed some freedom, so, we are trying our best to keep her spirits high! Thank you all for caring for Brenn, and continuing to pray every day for her, I believe that it has really payed dividends for Brenn.

Scott