Well, it's been another couple of days since the last post, and it has been a pretty interesting couple of days at that. Sunday was our 100th day here, and tomorrow will be our 100th day since Brenns treatment started. So on Sunday, I wasn't really in the mood to write, I just wanted to be around the people here at the house, and talk about what was going on.

It has been frightening, exhilarating, amazing, sad, agonizing, and difficult 100 days! We are so blessed to have such great support around us, that we are able to stay together, and fight together through Brenns treatment. I could absolutely not imagine not being here all together. 3 and a 1/2 months ago, I was working in Williams Lake, and all the stress I had was just about getting the job done down there to the best of my ability, and worrying about having everything that we needed, and doing everything right. Having the stress of work, even though, at that time, it felt really hard, looking back, it is really nothing compared to the stress that we have been through watching Brenn be sick. It is a lot more difficult seeing your child with a problem, like that than just doing the best you can at your job, I love my job, which makes my life a lot easier to I suppose, but I wouldn't like to see anyone go through this without the amazing support that we have felt from everyone that we know, and everyone that we don't know. It really has been a blessing going through this in may ways, because we really understand the love that our community really has for us. It is a weird concept, but we feel blessed more than anything having gone through this, and everything going as well as it has. Brenn is such a special little girl to go through this with such a strong outlook. She has been incredibly scared through all of the unknowns throughout her treatment, but once she gets to know what is happening, she is able to stand up, and be strong, and do what she has to do to get through each and every step of the process. Samantha has really had a struggle through all of this as well. She has been uprooted from her home and friends, seen her sister get really sick, been taken away by numerous family members while Brenn goes off for more treatment, and been stuck into a house that is non-stop all day long every day. She has really held up well also. She is a very strong willed little girl, but she is also the cutest, and funniest little girl, and exactly what we all need for comedy relief everyday. Thank God that he has given us such precious children. We could never have dreamed of having anything more than this. We are the luckiest people that I know, just to have the time to spend with both of our girls, and really get to know them as they start to develop their personalities. Again, I know that this may sound a little weird, but it really does feel that way. Living in this situation, Brenns treatment is a huge part of our day to day lives, but, it is just part of our reality. The rest of our lives right now is dedicated to living together, and just trying to distract ourselves with activities, and time together.

Any way, the last couple of days have been pretty tough. I woke up on Monday morning a little before 5 am, and really felt sick to my stomach. I got up, went to the bathroom, and got sick, had a shower, trying to get myself to feel better, but it really didn't work. I called my Uncle Allan so that he could come and pick Brenn and I up, as we had to get out of the house in case I really did have the flu or something. He came and picked us up, and took us to his house. I called Christine, and asked her to come back to Vancouver, as she had been in Vernon recovering from a stomach bug. She of course hopped in the car, and came home right away. It was really scary for me though. I initially thought that I had the flu, and was really scared that Brenn was going to get it. I was so tired through, that I was really unable to make much of a plan for us. I slept most of the day, while Brenn played with Uncle Allan and Auntie Nancy. When I woke up around 3 o'clock I was feeling quite a bit better, and knew then that Brenn was going to be okay. I never recover from the flu that fast so I was certain that it had been something that I ate. Brenn is still doing fine, so I am sure at this point that there is nothing to worry about, but it is nice to have Samantha and Christine home again, even though it cut their trip a bit short.

Today, we had to go and see a doctor in order to get a note for the RMH in order for us to move back in. Christine and I were both checked out, and deemed to be in good health by one of the clinic doctors in Childrens. It was kind of funny to have Brenns doctor looking at Christine, and I, but I suppose they are some of the best doctors that we have around, so who better to go and see. We came home, and relaxed for the rest of the day, just happy to be together.

Scott

Lets start with last night as opposed to the normal one day entry. As soon as I finished writing the blog last night, I was sitting outside of our room door, and heard Brenn start to cry. She had complained about her feet her feet hurting because of some blisters that she has on the arches of her feet at dinner time tonight, so at dinner, I just got her to take her shoes off, and that seemed to alleviate the problem. When she was crying in bed was the next time that I thought about it again. I went into the room, and Brenn was trying to take off her socks (she wears socks to bed every night), and there was a spot of blood on one of them. I got her socks off, and was surprised to find that her blisters looked infected. Immediately I was very concerned. I called the on call oncologist, and was told that I should bring her in to get checked out, and that she would call me back in a few minutes to let me know where to go, either Oncology, or Emergency. We ended up going to the ER, and seeing an ER doctor. Her looked at her feet and initially had the same concerns that I did. He poked and prodded as only doctors can, and determined that in fact they were not infected...yet, so he had them bandaged up, and sent us home with detailed instructions. We didn't get home until around 11:15, so we were both really tired. Brenn slept in until 9 this morning, which I am fairly certain is a new record for her. She was still very tired today, but she was a good girl none the less.

The weekend manager decided that it would be a great idea to make everyone French Toast this morning. She did a wonderful job, and it was really nice to not have to worry about getting food into Brenn. Brenn loves French Toast, so it was a no brainer, she ate almost one whole slice. Right now, I believe that was the single biggest meal she has eaten all week, I was supper happy. When we were at the hospital last night, we weighed Brenn, and she has only lost a couple of 10ths of a Kilogram over the past 4 days, so thats not to bad. That poor kid keeps going through so much garbage, and keeps surprising us every time with her amazing resilience. She has almost made it easy sometimes going through all of the test, and chemo days. After breakfast, a whole group of us went off to Costco downtown to pick up a few things for dinner tonight. It was a nice outing, but Brenn had to wear her mask throughout the trip, as on weekends, we try to stay away from stores as there are to many people around.

We made a dinner together as a house tonight. It was really nice, a couple of the volunteers came by to add to the potluck, and partake in the rest of the dinner with us. As usual, Chad and I manned the barbecues, and cooked all the meat. It takes two large barbecues to make enough meat for the house. We had kind of a Greek theme tonight, so I really enjoyed it. My cousin Jody, and her husband Joel came over tonight for dinner as well. It was great to have them here, and visit with them for a little while. Other than that, our day was very uneventful, we just played together, and didn't really do anything. It rained today, so most everyone stay here at RMH, and visited. It was a good day, and now I am tired ready for bed.

Scott

It was a really quiet day for us today. Brenn was tired so she slept in until 8 this morning. I guess that there is a first things for everything! Once she got up things went pretty slowly for us. We had some breakfast, which Brenn ate some, not a lot, but a little more than yesterday. I was encouraged that she ate a little bit more, but still worried about the day. She wasn't at all interested in food for the next little while until lunch, which is a bit odd, but not alarming. Between breakfast and lunch, Brenn wanted to lay down at the TV and watch movies. She was pretty tired this morning, and was not interested in doing anything. I took the opportunity to really clean the kitchen. I spent 3 hours washing the stove, moving all of the appliances on the counter and cleaning behind them, moved all the cereal and bread, cleaned the microwave, sinks, counter tops, cupboard faces, and refrigerators! It was a huge job, but it is way better now. The whole house is always kept very clean, but there is no substitute for a thorough cleaning job sometimes. It was a good sence of accomplishment when I was done that has sorely been lacking in my day to day life as of late.

Once I was done the kitchen, it was lunch time. Brenn said that she wanted chicken noodle soup again. I made her a can of soup, that turned out to be a complete waste, but I feel like I have just got to keep trying. She had a few bites of food throughout the afternoon, and we were struggling to come up with something for her to eat for dinner tonight, when my cousin called up and asked if we would like to accompany her to Shabusan Sushi. Tonight was all you can eat sushi and Korean barbecue! Brenn loves to eat the qyoza, and edamamy there, so I thought it would be a great idea to try to get her to eat. It worked, she ate 6 gyoza, and a whole pile of edamamy. It was great to see her eat, now I am just worried about the tummy ache. Hopefully she will not get one.

We had another great day spending time with each other today. We rode bikes around the neighbor hood, and played hide-and-go seek, and watched movies together, and cuddled for an hour in the afternoon. It was a really great day, I am so glad that we have such wonderful time together. She read a book with me tonight, trying to keep her up on her reading and she did really well. She would read one page, and I would read the next page. We alternated throughout the book. She is having some regression, but she is still doing really well. It is amazing that one of my children is already old enough to read! Good for her, GO BRENN

Scott

We went to Playland again today with Chad and Joanne. It was hot, but we had a really great time. We had some tickets left over from the last time that we went, so it cost us absolutely nothing. Brenn had a great sleep last night, and at first seemed to be doing really well this morning. She said that her tummy was feeling better, but when we got downstairs for breakfast, things changed. I made her scrambled eggs, which is one of her favorite breakfasts, and she picked at it having only a couple of bites. I tried to get her to eat some honey nut cheerios, another one of her favorites, but that was a no go as well. I eventually got most of a peach into her before I finally relented and said that we could go to Playland. She was really looking forward to going, and I was feeling really bad about possibly not going. For lunch she had a couple of french fries, and one bite of chicken. She was looking really tired at lunch, so we agreed to go on the log ride, and then call it a day. She was really quite on the way home, and so I thought that we would be having a nice relaxing afternoon. As soon as we walked in the house though, her feet hit the floor, and she ran off to play. She hasn't stopped yet! She has a ton of energy today, but I am still very concerned about her caloric intake today.

One of the big things that we are watching during this round is her weight. She lost .6 (about 1.25 lbs) over the previous week, and at this rate will be loosing even more. Today was the first day that she has really been uninterested in food. There were days were she was unable to eat, but today seemed a bit different. Hopefully today was just a passing day, and tomorrow she will wake up, and make up for today. We are having one of the boys birthday dinner tonight in the house, and Brenn is not really looking forward to eating again. One of the volunteers who is working tonight is going to make Sundaes for everyone, so maybe Brenn will get some calories then.....we can only hope. We had a really great day today other than the food issue, and have really been enjoying one anothers company over this week. I think we are both happy to have this time together, it has been so long since we have had time with one another one on one. So its happy days for now.

Scott

Today was Brenn and my first real day by ourselves, and we tried to make the best of it! Brenns tummy was feeling a little sore this morning, so I gave her 2 more doses of her stomach medicine, instead of the one dose that I had planned to give her today. The medicine is designed to keep her from getting nauseous, and throwing up, and really does a great job. From what I understand, before they started giving this particular medicine, the kids would all throw up every time they got their chemo! Thank God for medical science sometimes. Other than the upset tummy this morning, and some really tired legs throughout the day, Brenn was really good. She was happy, and upbeat, with only a few times today where she became overwhelmed with her emotions. It seems that she has a really hard time over a couple of days after chemo, where she just can't deal with things upsetting her. It is really hard for her to moderate herself. I was really proud of her today that she was able to get through the day with only a couple of small fits. Brenn is still the girl that can make everything better, and show you how life should be lived to the fullest even through difficult times. We are truly blessed by God to have such wonderful children to remind us that things are never as bad as they seem.

Living in RMH, while challenging, has also be a real blessing for us. There are some times that I get overwhelmed by having to live in such close proximity to so many people every day every week, and every month that we are here, but the connections that we have made I believe will last for life. Some of the conversations that we get into between ourselves are very restoring as well. We all know the story of how we all arrived here, and we all know what we are all going through, and it makes us stronger to be there together, through the ups and the downs. There are some people that do not participate in the group dynamic that has formed here, but they still contribute through their children. A lot of times, it is really hard to keep everything in perspective, and tonight, I think it is good for me to be talking about this, as Brenn and I have had a hard couple days in the house. Brenn really loves to play with all of the other kids, and do crafts, and everything there is to do here, but when she is not feeling well, sometimes it is hard for her to be here, seeing all the other kids playing, and not being able to play herself.

Any way, we had a good day today. We went down to Stanley Park on the bus (which was really crowded and made me really nervous), and went to the Aquarium. They have a show on right now called SpongeBob in 4D. It is played on a 3d screen, then they incorporate smell, wind, mist, and bubbles to make your other scenes partake in the entertainment. It was a pretty cool experience. Brenn thoroughly enjoyed it, and wants to take Samantha there to watch it again. The aquarium is great now that we have a yearly pass. We can pop in for an hour or two and enjoy a couple of things really thoroughly, and leave knowing that we can come back any time that we want to do something else. After the show, we went and watched the seal show and the dolphin show, which were both entertaining, and informative! Once we were done in the aquarium, we went for a little walk in the park, but Brenns legs were to tired, so I ended up carrying her for most of the way, and most of the time in the aquarium as well, but I don't mind shes great to cuddle with. We got back on the bus, and came back to RMH. Brenn played part of the afternoon when she was up to it before having dinner, shower, and off to bed. She fell asleep almost as soon as I put her to bed.

Scott

We are sitting at the hospital waiting for the results of Brenns blood test from this morning. Yesterday we had a really good day with Grandma. It was her last day here, as she is leaving today for the trek back to Campbell River. It was a nice visit with Mom as she was able to stay in RMH with us. The girls really enjoyed having her there, and waking her up in the morning for breakfast. We went and picked some blackberries from the bushes down the street in the morning. Christine and Samantha are in Vernon, so we only had to watch out for Brenn. It was kind of nice. After lunch we went off to Steveston, but it was really way to busy to enjoy. We went back to RMH to make dinner, and head off to bed. My cousin Nicole came and joined us for dinner, and then I met up with her after I put Brenn to bed so that we could go and run across the Lions Gate Bridge. It was a beautiful night for a run, the sun was setting, it was a little warm, but I am really struck by just how beautiful Vancouver really can be.

Today we are in clinic for a number of hours. We have already been here for a couple hours, and we have 2-3 more hours at least. If her blood work comes back, and she doesn't need a transfusion, then we will be out of here in 2-3 hours, if she needs something, then we will be taking on at least 4 more hours to that schedule......heres hoping she doesn't need anything. She seems to be doing well though. I am not anticipating that she will get a transfusion today. She is eating well again, she is still losing weight. She has lost another half a kilogram over the weekend, but I guess we are fairly unconcerned about that. We are just to keep an eye on her weight, and go from there. She has always been way underweight for her height, and she is headed in that direction again. When we arrived at the hospital, Brenn weighed 17.1 KG, she now weighs 19.4 KG, so she is quite a lot heavier than she was a few months ago. She is really looking like herself again, just without any hair. I am hopeful that she doesn't loose anymore weight though. I think that if she looses anymore weight that she will start to look sick again, and I am afraid that she will start to get sick again. I guess time will tell though. It has been a real treat to just spend some time with her on my own for the last couple days, and we are looking forward to a few more fun things over the next few days. So all in all, things are great, Brenn is great, and we are enjoying ourselves in the beautiful weather. As much as it sucks to be here and away from home, it has been a real treat otherwise to be able to spend so much time outside just playing with the girls.

Scott

Samantha and Christine left this morning, and we were all sad about their departure. I am very hopeful that Christine is able to take the break and enjoy herself, and de-stress a little bit. It has really been hard emotionally and mentally being here for the last 3 months. It feels like there is nothing else outside of our lives here. The constant stress of being so attentive to Brenn, and how she is doing from moment to moment really takes a toll over time. It is really nice to see that Brenn is doing well, but, there is always the possibility that Brenn will take a turn for the worse. We are always so prepared for anything that could go wrong at any time, because the doctors know what we should be looking for, and let us know. The stress of just being away from home, and out of our normal routine is starting to take it's toll as well. We as a family are used to me working all the time, so I am quite sure that I am starting to get on Christines nerves with my presence alone. We have grown a lot closer since we have been here because of all of the things we have gone through, but I am sure that I am still annoying sometimes.

Once we saw Christine and Samantha off, we went down to Kits beach so that Brenn could play in the park there. My cousin Nicole came with us to the beach, and spent an hour with us while Brenn played. We hopped back into Moms Rav, and headed out to Uncle Allans house with a couple quick stops along the way. Uncle Allan and I planned to run together today, and I let him plan the route. He decided to run around Bunson Lake. It was the hardest 11.5 km I have ever run. The trails were pretty rough, and they went up and down at steep angles the entire way around. It was a really great challange, but I think that we both came back happy that it was over, and really tired. We waded in the lake to wash off some of the dust that had collected on us, and then headed back to his house. Christine called while we were on the way home to let me know that they had made it to Vernon, and that everything was fine. Samantha got a little sick in the car on the way there, and hopefully it was just car sickness, not something else. Once they got there, things settled down, and she was playing and acting normally, so that is great.

We had a huge meal at Uncle Allans house, and ended up staying a little late, and not getting back to the house about an hour and a half past Brenns bedtime. Oh well, I guess the occasional late night is not that bad. So it was a really great day, and tomorrow should be great as well. Brenn and I are having a lot of fun with Grandma, and tomorrow should be a nice relaxing day...

Scott