Day 28 ~ hopefully the last day of DEX for a while

So I am sitting here starting to write this worrying about Brenn. This evening we noticed that through out the afternoon her whole body has swelled significantly and she has sort of stretch dots on her legs and more on her belly, we got direction from the on call oncologist to bring her in to the hospital so that he can take a look at her. So on with the emla cream (so they can access her VAD without pain) and off Scott and Brenn went to the hospital. I'm sure it's just water retention as side effect from the drugs and all the salty foods she has been eating.

It's hard though not second guessing yourself when your child is sick, could I have missed something, could I have done something different, should I have called the doctor sooner, should I not have let her do that or in Brenn's case lately not eat that. I know that I can not go through this journey with Brenn and our family always second guessing myself but today the first time calling the on call I give myself permission to be human. It is very humbling not having control of the fate of your small child, it is suppose to be a parents job to protect your child from harm and here I think of her and we are letting the drugs that will ultimately save her life do her harm. This sucks.....but it is what it is I guess.......I know in my heart that at the end of this journey Brenn will be fine. We will all be fine.

So a quick glance at our day.....Brenn had a visitor today from Prince George, Hayden from her class came by to say hello and bring her a big card from the school as well as some more gifts to keep her busy. She loved looking and playing with them right away, after eating an early lunch with her friend Brenn was ready for a rest as she quickly gets tired (cranky), we were then off to a fantastic coffee shop for a steamed milk and then to the beach as it was a beautiful day here. Brenn sat on a log eating veggies' and dip while Sam played in the sand. We then headed over to the park where Brenn wanted a push on the swing. It was nice to get out today and be in a park and have her do a little something that she likes.

Tomorrow Brenn has more tests and procedures and we will find out what the next phase of her treatment is going to look like. I think that we are all thankful that this first phase is done and that she has done so well with it......good job Brenn :)